


You're Okay

by LuxAve



Series: Let's Be Okay [2]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Panic Attack, anxiety attack, minor OCs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-16 10:32:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3484976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxAve/pseuds/LuxAve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro has the house to himself for a few hours, and completely ready to spend the day with gummy bears and his DVRed shows. He's not ready for a panic attack to hit him. He's also not prepared for Tadashi finding him hyperventilating in the living room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Writing therapy for me, I was having an anxiety attack and decided to use this a distraction. Please excuse grammar and spelling mistakes. I wasn't in the mood to closely edit this.

Hiro Hamada, fourteen-year-old high school graduate, had the house to himself all day; his aunt was busy being swamped in the café, and his older brother, Tadashi, was stuck at school.  It was rare for him to be alone in the house without being bothered by anyone for a while. The best way, he decided, to spend his time was in front of the TV for a DVR marathon. All the shows he recorded were patiently waiting for him to watch them. He grabbed a bag full of gummy bears and a glass of juice and flopped on the chair.

 

It was a little after one when it started, the tightness in his chest. Now, he was no stranger to this feeling, he’s had them for years, it’s happened everyday. Normally he tries to ignore it, distract his mind from the thoughts waking up in his mind. Usually, it worked.

 

He picked up his notebook and started doodling possible battle bots and upgrades for Megabot. Sketches of never-going-to-work inventions, inventions that would be great for a sci-fi book or movie, but never work in the real world. He even tried to concentrate on his show, one of those primetime shows he had somehow gotten hooked on.

 

But the tightness continued to claw at his chest, putting imaginary pressure on his lungs and as a result, his breath shortened and quickened.  His heart pounded against his rib cage, seemingly racing the thoughts that ran laps in his mind.

 

The biggest thought stood out: distraction wasn't working this time, the anxiety attack upgrading itself to a minor panic.

 

_‘You’re fine, you’re fine.’_ The rational part of his mind attempted to calm the irrational. He flung the blanket off his body when he started feeling too warm, his uncontrollable, internal trembling making him sweat. _‘You’re okay, you’re fine, you’re not in danger.’_

 

Irritation laughed in Ration’s face.

 

One hand flew to his chest, a calming quirk he’s picked up through the years of this, and he put slight pressure where his hand was, trying to imitate the feeling of a person hugging him. While his other hand was on his forehead as he leaned against the arm of the chair, pushing his bangs back off his face in the process.

 

_‘There’s no danger here, Hiro.’_ He tried to mentally tell himself. _‘You’re just being a baby! There’s nothing to be afraid of!’_ But the self-berating started, and that made them all the worse. _‘You need to quick being such a ‘fraidy-cat’. What would everyone think if they found out you freak out over anything little thing?’_

 

“Ugh.” He groaned to himself as he sat up again, leaning against the back of the seat. He always hated the panic attacks more than his normal anxiety ones. The thoughts during his panic times were more vicious and mean to himself rather than the     non-existent threat. They tried to tear him down when he was already low enough, degrade him for feeling this way.

_‘You’re not even stressed!’_ His mind would scream at him at some point in the panic attack. _‘Who flips over nothing?’_ Then he’d compare himself to Tadashi, who was always strong and happy and nice and selfless. While Hiro was usually the opposite, the fourteen-year-old, while was nice and happy most of the time, was not strong – mentally or physically – and could be very selfish.   _‘Tadashi doesn't crack like this. He’s always calm and collected.’_

The thoughts continued. And he began to hyperventilate.

 

His chest started hurting and his already short and quick breaths were shortened even more and quicker ten-fold.

 

_‘Calm down! Calm down!’_ He screamed at himself, knowing full well it wasn't going to work.  _‘In two three four, hold six seven eight nine, out eleven twelve thirteen. Repeat.’_   He leaned forward, hand still against his chest but now pulling at his shirt collar, his other hand now gripping the arm of the chair in a death grip.

 

Hiro was so caught up in his attack and attempts to breathe, he failed to hear someone opening the front door and walking in.

 

“Hiro?” A masculine voice asked, concern and worry painting the tone of the voice. Sounds of something being practically dropped to the floor, resounded through his head with a solid _thud_ , but Hiro wasn't paying attention. He ignored the voice, and by extension, the person – but not for being rude, but because he _couldn't_ respond.

 

The person rushed over to him, kneeling on the floor when they reached his side, to reveal Tadashi, in all his mother-hen worrying glory. “Hiro?” He questioned again, hands fluttering around his little brother’s personal space, but not touching the younger Hamada.

 

“‘M fine.” Hiro wheezed, still failing at controlling his lungs.

 

“No, no you’re not!” Tadashi placed his hand on Hiro’s forehead, but promptly pulled it back when Hiro tensed and jerked away.

 

“Don't touch.” Hiro almost whimpered.

 

Tadashi held his hands up in a submissive manner. “Okay.” He gently said, confused as to why his brother reacted like that. “What’s wrong?” His voice dripping with concerned fright.

 

That sent Hiro back a pace, making him feel worse. And even though he didn't want Tadashi touching him, he didn't mean that _he_ couldn't touch Tadashi. Hiro’s hand left the chair’s arm to reach out for his brother. While he missed Tadashi’s hand, his vision distorted by dizziness, he managed to get a fist full of cardigan and shirt, which he held in a white-knuckled hold. “Can’t… Breathe.” He managed to get out.

 

Tadashi flipped. “What?” He leaned closer to his brother, trying to be mindful of his space, but needing to see his face. He had to make sure Hiro wasn’t turning blue. “Why not? Are you choking? Did you swallow something? Is this from allergies? Did you eat peanuts again?” Hiro’s accidently had peanuts before, after they declared his allergy, and he’s had issues breathing, but Hiro himself, has never acted like this during those instances.

 

Tears leaked out of Hiro’s brown eyes, which were currently scrunched closed, as tight as his chest felt. He shook his head slowly. “Anx-anxiety atta-attack.”

 

A small look of relief passed on the older Hamada’s face, before worry returned, but not to the degree it was three point seven seconds ago. His little brother had anxiety attacks? It seemed like this wasn't the first one, since he seemed to know what it was.  “Can, can I get you something? Water? Tea?” He didn't have much experience with anxiety attacks, just the occasional anxiety for a project or presentation. This, _this_ he didn’t know.

 

Hiro shook his head, keeping a hold of Tadashi. Hiro could feel his brother’s heartbeat under his hand, and quickly decided a different approach to a breathing exercise. Breathe in for five beats, hold for seven and release for six.

 

He could also feel Tadashi trying to talk to him, Hiro wasn't paying attention to catch just what he was saying, but the way Tadashi was speaking softly, he figured it was just trivial statements, probably about his day or what Aunt Cass was making for dinner.

 

It took another five minutes, but Hiro’s breathing was almost back to its normal pace.

 

“Hiro?” Tadashi gently asked, still kneeling on the floor in front of his littler brother.

 

The younger hummed in response, refusing to meet his brother’s eyes. He’s never had an attack in front of someone else before. He’s had them for years, but he’s always excused himself from the presence of others if the attack was getting intense. He didn't want to bother anyone with his stupid thoughts that were completely irrational. It made him feel worse knowing that there was no danger around him, there never was, but he still felt vulnerable and scared and trapped.

 

Hiro never told Tadashi or Aunt Cass about his anxiety. They had real things to be troubled about. Aunt Cass had her café, which put, no pun intended, food on their table – the main source of income for the three of them. Tadashi had his schoolwork and projects to pass, and his weekend job that he had to go to. Hiro did nothing all day but tinker with his robots or sleep. He’s the one who shouldn't be anxious about anything. _They did_ , they had liable reasons to freak out over practically nothing. If the café is having a slow week, they had less money for that time being. If Tadashi didn't do well on a project, he had the threat of losing his private lab and scholarships and financial aids over his head; or if Tadashi was late to his job, the possibility of being fired.

 

“Hiro?” Tadashi tried again.

 

Hiro sighed and slowly looked up to the other.

 

“Are you okay?” There were unnamable emotions in Tadashi’s eyes, as he looked at Hiro.

 

A curt nod was all Hiro had to say on the matter.

 

“Wanna talk about it?” The elder moved slightly so that he was now sitting on the floor instead of on his knees. He could see Hiro better that way.

 

A shake of his head broke Tadashi’s heart. He knew Hiro wouldn't want to talk about it; the kid has always been reserved. But he’d hoped, so he could try to understand and help his littler brother somehow. He didn’t want to fore Hiro into talking, though, especially right now. So he settled to give an understanding nod and sigh.

 

The younger scooted over in the overstuffed chair and patted the space next to him, inviting his big brother to sit with him. He didn't have to tell Tadashi twice, who scrambled in to the spot before Hiro changed his mind. When they both got situated, Hiro practically jumped into his _nii-san’s_ lap. He leaned his head against Tadashi’s shoulder, tired and worn out from the whole experience, even though it only lasted roughly a half hour. Time just seems to slow when he has those.

 

Hiro closed his eyes, just wanting to rest for a few minutes, but felt something being draped over him and his brother. Cracking one eye open, he saw the blanket he’d thrown off himself earlier, laying over him. A small smile danced across his face as he snuggled into his brother. He was awake long enough to feel Tadashi pull Hiro closer to him and rest his head on Hiro’s, both of them completely content with taking a little nap.

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to turn this into a short, multi-chapter story instead of a one shot. More Writing Therapy for me. Weeee! This one is DEFINITELY not edited. At. All. I'm in a bad mood, and I'm tired, so grammar and proper punctuation is out of the equation at the moment. Sorry.

Hiro Hamada blinked his eyes open and the first thing he saw was not the ceiling of his and Tadashi’s room, but the ceiling of the living room. He gave a content sigh and stretched; well, attempted to stretch. He found he was restrained somewhat, something not necessarily heavy, but more weight than his blanket, was on him. He moved to look at what was draped across his waist and came face to face with a sleeping Tadashi. He was confused for a moment, couldn't remember why he was asleep in the living room with Tadashi.

 

Then he remembered; his panic attack.

 

Hiro let out a disappointed sigh, disappointed at himself. He tried so hard to keep his attacks a secret. Now, like the cat, it’s out of the bag.

 

Deciding to push those thoughts aside for now, he glanced around to the clock, taking note that it was dark outside. They closed their eyes for a catnap, then end up sleeping for nine hours.

 

He shifted to grab the remote off the coffee table, but ended up waking his brother.

 

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Hiro muttered, voice volume _just_ above that of a whisper.

 

Tadashi looked at him for a second, registering that he spoke, and then gave a small, tired smile. “You didn’t wake me up.”

 

Hiro gave him a look. “You’ve been asleep since I woke up, like, five minutes ago.”

 

“Been dozing in and out fro a while now.” Was the elder’s response. Tadashi sat up carefully, trying not to squish his brother. How they ended up tangled on the chair was behind their tired minds’ comprehension at the moment.  When he was sitting up, he looked at Hiro.

 

“I’m fine.” Hiro half-heartedly snapped. He knew what his older brother was going to ask.

 

Brown eyes narrowed at the smaller boy. “Don’t get snippy. I didn’t know you suffered from anxiety attacks.” Tadashi’s voice softened.

 

Hiro looked away and shrugged.

 

“That’s not a response for anything I just said.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I don't.”

 

Tadashi let Hiro flip on the TV and they fell into silence for a while before Tadashi broke it.  “Want something to eat?” He asked.

 

Another Hiro shrug.

 

Tadashi rolled his eyes. “Well, _I’m_ making something to eat.” He untangled the blanket from himself and stood up to go into the kitchen to make himself, and Hiro because he honestly was always hungry, some noodles. “Let me know if you want anything.”

 

The whole twenty minutes it took to make the noodles, Tadashi watched Hiro from the kitchen. The younger was acting completely normal, well, normal for Hiro; he was writing something in his notebook and holding Megabot. ‘Must be planning upgrades.’ Tadashi pondered as he drained the noodles and added the sauce pack.

 

A huff from Hiro caught the elder’s attention.

 

“That’d never work.” Was all the younger muttered before scratching something off on his paper.

 

The 21 year old smiled at his brother, placing the noodles on plates and taking them into the living room. “Here.” He sat one of the plates in front of Hiro and sat back down in the chair.

 

“Big butt, there’s a couch, right there.” Hiro pointed out, in his normal attitude.

 

The elder shrugged. “Butt’s too big, can’t get up. We’re stuck here.” He added to the joke slash insult.

 

A roll of brown eyes was all that Tadashi got in response before they fell into silence once more, with the occasional slurp of noodles and the TV show in the background.

 

 

 

The clock read 11:18 at night when Hiro glanced at it for the umpteenth time that night. He sighed and took another deep breath in.

 

“I’ve had them for years.” He mumbled to his older brother, who was typing on his laptop while sitting over on the couch instead of the chair. Hiro half-hoped he hadn’t heard the statement.

 

A shade deeper than Hiro’s own brown eyes shifted from screen to Hiro and promptly shut the computer. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Tadashi’s voice was soft, trying not to be intimidating on the sensitive subject.  

 

Hiro shrugged, but knowing full well why.

 

And Tadashi did too, if the look Hiro was receiving was anything to go by.

 

“You and Aunt Cass have real things to worry about.” The 14 year old looked away.

 

Tadashi shook his head. “That didn’t make a single sense.”

 

“Yeah, it did.” Hiro countered.

 

“No, yes, it made sense, but Aunt Cass and I having things to worry about does not mean you can’t come talk to use about what _you’re_ worried about.” The older Hamada told him. “Why do you think that?”

 

“All I do is sit around here. All day, everyday. Doing nothing that contributes to anyone or anything. And when something does contribute, its normally just for my benefit and illegalness.” Hiro began. “Aunt Cass has the café to worry about, and you have your school to worry about. I shouldn't have anything.”

 

Tadashi scooted closer to his brother, but stayed on the couch. “Everyone worries about things. Even though you’re saying they’re not important, does not mean they’re not important.”

 

Hiro fell quiet.

 

“Do you want to talk about them?”

 

The question hung in the air like a fog in Hiro’s eyes. On one hand, he did want to talk about them, but the other hand, he didn't want to talk. Talking meant he actually had to acknowledge them, the more real they would feel. He was completely fine ignoring them until they bubbled over the surface, then the pot would empty and the ignoring would start all over again.

 

Hiro shrugged.

 

The elder let out a sigh. “That’s still not an answer.”

 

Hiro finally looked back up to meet the other’s eyes. “I don’t know. I want to talk about it, but then again, I really don't.” He leaned back and slid down in the chair in the same manner a teen bored in class would.

 

Slight understanding shone in Tadashi’s eyes as he tried to mentally plan out how to turn the conversation so his brother would talk to him. “Why don’t you want to?”

 

“Makes it more real.” Was the mumbled response he received.

 

“You don’t want it to be real?” He rested his arm against the side of the couch.

 

Hiro shrugged, again. “It’s easier to ignore it when I don’t acknowledge it.”

 

“But talking about it may make it a little better. Maybe even easier that it is to just ignore it.”

 

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Hiro replied reaching for the TV remote. He was finished with this conversation.

 

But Tadashi reached it first; he _was_ closer to it after all. “Hiro.” He said in an almost warning tone.

 

“What?” Hiro suddenly straightened up. “What do you want me to say about this? I don’t like feeling this way; it’s most defiantly not a walk in the park with roses. I don't appreciate waking up in the morning and being greeted with an anxiety attack, I also don't like ending my day with them.” He ranted. “It sucks knowing I can be completely relaxed, doing something that I find fun, like I was doing earlier, and then suddenly having a panic attack.”

 

“Hiro-” Tadashi tried in a gentler voice.

 

“No! You wanted me to talk, so let me talk.” The younger snapped. “I hate knowing that at some point in my day, that something, something most likely very, very small, is going to set me off. In fact, most of the time, I have no idea what sets me off. Like today! I wasn’t doing anything but watching a show and working on upgrade planning and bam! Anxiety attack. But of course, it decided to upgrade itself into a panic attack. Then you walk in and – do you know how hard I’ve worked at keeping this to myself? How many times I’ve had to get up and leave a room and freak out in peace?”

 

Hiro was shaking now. He’s always wondered what it’d be like to talk to someone about this. But he didn't expect himself to react like that. He had imagined a nice sit-down with whoever he’d be talking to, having a one-on-one deep conversation about when it all started, what it feels like, possible ways to slowly work on overcoming his anxiety.

 

He didn’t realize he was a bomb.

 

“Hiro.” His older brother broke through his loud rambling. Hiro hadn’t even realized they were both standing up now, Tadashi pulling him into his arms.

 

“I don’t like it.” Hiro finished lamely into his brother’s chest, trying to hold back frustrated tears.

 

“Shh.” The older Hamada gently shushed when he heard his little brother sniffle. He leaned his head on top of Hiro’s as they stood there, that’s when he noticed their aunt standing in the doorway to the living room. She had a concerned look on her face. He had no idea how long she had been standing there.

 

She met his eyes and held them there for a few seconds before he shook his head, silently telling her not to worry; he’s got this.

 

 

Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the best I've written. I don't really know how this part of the situation would go, I don't have personal experience with this- the whole telling people thing. But, anyway... yeah.  
> Sorry for any mistakes, I'm obviously not one for close editing (or far away editing for that matter).
> 
> Edit: (half an hour after I posted this chapter) I have actually just planned this into a full fledged story.... Funny how things work eh? haha. So far I have 11 chapters outlined out.... :)

**Chapter Three**

Cass had stood in the doorway to the living room for a few minutes, not very long, but long enough to see Hiro’s little explosion on Tadashi.

 

She sat in her room, after all but being shooed out of her own living room by her oldest nephew, feeling like the worst aunt in the world. How could she not have seen her youngest going through that? How could she not have noticed how he’d get up and leave a room, disappear for a while then reappear as if he never left?  She was around him the most and she never took note.

 

She sighed to herself and pulled her laptop onto her lap, turning it on in the process. She might not have known of his anxiety, but she did now, and by Jove she was going to help; she wasn’t going to sit back and let Tadashi attempt to handle it. As much as she loved her oldest nephew, and knew he could do anything he set his mind to, Hiro needed a professional.

 

She also opened up a few Internet tabs on just what anxiety was.

 

* * *

 

“I didn’t mean to push.” Tadashi murmured into Hiro’s hair once his aunt had walked away.

 

“I didn’t mean to snap.” Hiro replied with an apology of his own. 

 

“That’s quiet alright.” The older Hamada pulled away slightly to look at his younger brother. “What do you want to do?”

 

Once again, Hiro shrugged.

 

“I’m gonna write a letter to congress and get shrugging outlawed.” Tadashi tried to lighten the mood just a little.

 

A twitch of Hiro’s lips were all that received. “I don’t know.”

 

“Well,” Tadashi began; he pulled Hiro with him to the couch and they both sat down. “I’m pretty sure Aunt Cass is looking up therapists for you, so-“

 

“How does she know?!” Hiro let out in an almost horrified whisper.

 

The elder let out a sigh. “It _is_ almost midnight. And you _were_ yelling.”

 

Hiro groaned. “I told my own secret.”

 

“Yeah.”  

 

Another groan as Hiro almost dramatically pressed his face into his brother’s shoulder. “The cat comes out of the bag all at once.”

 

Tadashi chuckled. “Sorry.”

 

They fell quiet for a few moments.

 

“I wish you would have told us.” Tadashi muttered.

 

Hiro rolled his eyes. That statement was beginning to get on his nerves. He had his reasons why he didn’t. “Well, I didn’t.” He mumbled.

 

Tadashi let out a sigh. “I know. But, you do know you can tell us anything, right?”

 

He felt Hiro nod against his shoulder.

 

“I’m serious.” Tadashi bodily turned toward his little brother. “Whether you think it’s stupid or not. And the next time that happens, let us know.” He looked Hiro in the eye. “I promise not to push next time.”

 

Another nod.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Cass was seated across from Hiro and had spread out a handful of pamphlets, all from different counseling centers and therapists in a five-mile radius of them.

 

“Just,” She paused for a second, watching him closely. “Just look at them. If you see one you like, I’ll call the doctor and ask for her to recommend you.” His Aunt Cass gave him a reassuring smile.

 

He gave a small nod and reached for the papers in front of him. They all seemed to be colourful. Trying too hard. Hiro thought as he skimmed the front pages, taking notes of the names and slogans in the bright, semi-unappealing fonts and colours.

 

Cass let out a relieved breath. “Well, I’m heading back down to the café. Come down for lunch later.” She ruffled his hair as she passed him.

 

“Thank you.” He called after her right before the door closed.

 

He honestly looked at them, read through them, but he didn’t think any of them could help him. He felt he’d just be wasting those people’s time. Hiro knew that he honestly wouldn’t talk in there. That’s part of the reason why no one knew this was happening to him. His problems are small, insignificant, and he’s reserved about his feelings.

 

He huffed and pushed the papers away from him. “They won’t be able to help me.” He grumped to himself.

 

Hiro scooted the chair from the table and stalked into the living room.

 

“Did you find a therapist?” A masculine voice came from behind him.

 

“Holy geez!” Hiro jumped and spun to face the person. “You can’t just do that to people!”

 

Tadashi laughed as he crossed the threshold from the stairs leading from the café to the stairs leading to their bedroom. He disappeared for a moment; Hiro could hear him rummaging through something.

 

“What are you looking for?” Hiro called up as he leant against the banister.

 

The second story of their living space fell quiet and still before an “AHA!” Cut through the air and Tadashi appeared back into view.

 

Hiro backed out of his way.

 

“I accidently left my binder with upgrade plans.” The elder finally answered. “Did you pick a therapist?” He changed the subject.

 

A roll of brown eyes gave the college student the reply.

 

“You know,” He started. “People aren’t what they seem on paper, or, brochure.”

 

Hiro shrugged.

 

“Stop that.” Tadashi pointed to him. “Maybe you should actually try a session before you completely rule it out.”

 

“Ugh.” The younger groaned and flopped over the back of the couch. “Fine!”

 

“Good!”

 

“Pick a random brochure and I’ll ‘try it out’.” Hiro flexed his fingers for physical air quotes.

 

That raised an eyebrow on his older brother. “I’m not going to these sessions, you choose your potential therapist.”

 

“None of them look like they could help me.” The little brother sighed.

 

Quiet filled the space again; making Hiro sit up and make sure his brother was still standing there. He was, and he was actually reading the papers on the table.

 

“You don’t have to.” Hiro piped up after a few minutes of watching the elder.

 

Dark brown eyes glanced over into the living room. “I think they all seem fine.” He finally said. “Hiro, if you don’t want to go to one of these, we won’t force you. If you just don’t think it’ll work, could you just try? Actually try. No air quotes?”

 

Small shoulder deflated. “Yes. I’ll actually try to talk to them.”

 

“Did you actually read these?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Shoot.” Tadashi randomly said. “I gotta get back to class.” He grabbed his binder off the table. “I’ll see you later, little bro.”

 

“Bye!” Hiro gave an offhanded wave.

 

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Hiro made his way down to the café, one of the brochures in his hand.

 

Cass looked up and over at him when she saw movement in the corner of her eye. “Hungry?” She asked.

 

“Actually, I came down to tell you I pick a therapist to see.” He handed her the paper.

 

She looked it over then smiled. “Alright.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited. More writing therapy... but you should know that by now, haha.   
> Beware of poor attempts are writing a therapist.   
> And I'm pretty sure this is the longest thing I've ever written.

**Chapter Four**

 

Fourteen-year-old Hiro Hamada sat on a comfortable-looking chair, which was not comfortable in any sense of the word, kicking his feet as he and his aunt waited. He kept checking his watch, it seemed every time he did, it was still the same time it was when he last glanced at it.

 

Cass put a comforting hand on his arm, covering the watch from his view. “Relax.”

 

Hiro sighed. “Maybe this was stupid.” He muttered quietly.

 

“Just give it a try. A handful of sessions is all we ask.” She wore a hopeful expression on her face.

 

He nodded.

 

A young woman, maybe around 30, walked into the room, clipboard in hand. “Hiro?” She tucked a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

 

He glanced over at her then to Cass, who gave a small chuckle and stood up.

 

“Hi.” The woman in front of them greeted when they started walking toward her.

 

“Hi.” Hiro replied softly, nervously.

 

“You must be his aunt.” The lady assumed, she held out her hand to Cass.

 

Cass nodded and shook the lady’s hand. “Yes, I am.”

 

“Well, welcome to Revelations Counseling.” The lady smiled. “I’m Dr. Patricia Lewis, you can call me Dr. Pat if you want.”

 

Cass turned to Hiro. “I’ll be right out here.” She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before Dr. Pat started leading Hiro down a hallway.

 

“So, Hiro,” Dr. Pat began as she held a door open for the young teen. “How are we today?”

 

“A little reluctant to be here, honestly.” He mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear.

 

She nodded. “Well, have a seat.” She gestured to the almost overstuffed couch and matching armchair. “Wherever’s comfortable for you.” She, herself, took a seat in her desk chair. “I totally understand you not wanting to be here.” She crossed her legs and laid her clipboard in her lap. “When I was slightly older than you, I had to have a few therapy sessions. I was _not_ a happy camper about it.” Dr. Pat let out a breathless laugh.

 

Hiro didn’t sit down at first, instead choosing to inspect the room. He took note of the coffee table and matching end tables that the couch and chair were surrounding. A few magazines, candles, lamps and small potted plants littered the end tables while a tissue box, a few small notepads and pens, and a zen garden sat on the coffee table. And out of the corner of his eye, he saw a floor to ceiling bookcase, completely filled, behind the door.

 

“Your office seems cozy.” He mindlessly commented.

 

“Thank you.” Dr. Pat smiled. “I try to keep my clients comfy.”

 

“Got a lot of books.” He walks over to the piece of furniture.

 

She nodded. “Some clients like to be ‘distracted’ when they have their sessions. So I always make sure to have books, magazines, little doodle pads in case they wanted them.”

 

He finally made his way over to the couch. “That’s considerate.” He told her.

 

They fell quiet for a minute. Dr. Pat watching Hiro as he absently looked around the room. She jotted down a few notes about his nervous behavior, how his glance would jump from one direction to another, never looking at something for more than a second or two; or how he bounced his leg up an down in a jittery fashion. 

 

“When I meet with a new client, I like to get to know them.” She suddenly said.  “Get a sense of who you are, so when we start digging, we might be able to find something quicker.”

 

He nodded but stayed quiet.

 

“But first, how long have you been having these anxiety attacks?” She sounded genuinely concerned.

 

He shrugged. “A while.”

 

“Any specific time in you life?”

 

He shook his head. “I don’t remember how they started, I kinda, have just, I’ve had them maybe my whole life.” He stuttered and tripped over his words.

 

She wrote his answer down. “No specific event that jumps out at you?”

 

He shook his head again.

 

Dr. Pat hummed. “Well, we’ll figure that out.” She smiled.  “Alright, let’s talk. Not about your anxiety right now. I want to get to know you, and you’re more than welcome to ask about me. Trust can’t be a one way street.” She told him. “If we were to switch places, I probably wouldn't exactly open up to you until I knew a little bit about you.” She admitted. “So if you think of anything to ask, just ask away.” She finished.

 

He didn’t respond, but acknowledged that she spoke.

 

“Tell me about your family.” She started. “You live with your aunt, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, Aunt Cass. She took my older brother and I in when I was about three.” He confirmed. “My parents passed away and she’s the only other family we have.”

 

A sad smile appeared on Dr. Pat’s face. “I’m sorry.” She gave the standard condolence.

 

He waved it off. “It’s fine. Aunt Cass raised us pretty good.”

 

“What’s your brother’s name?”

 

“Tadashi. He’s a robotics engineer, he goes to SFIT.” He motioned in the general direction of the technology school, where his brother was.

 

“That’s impressive.” She noted. “What was your childhood like then? Living with your aunt?”

 

“Fun.” He simply said. “We live above her café, there is always donuts and cakes.” He side noted with a smile.

 

Dr. Pat let out a soft laugh. “Wish I had that growing up.”

 

“Aunt Cass makes the best cakes.” Hiro continued. “Anyway, it was good. Never felt like I was missing out on something since I didn’t have my parents. I just made out mother’s day cards to my aunt. And one year, I jokingly made a father’s day card for my brother.” He laughed. “He got a kick out of it.”

 

When Hiro fell quiet, Dr. Pat took that as a cue to ask another question. “How’s school going?”

 

He blinked at her. “I graduated already.”

 

She stopped writing and looked at him. “Really?” She glanced down at the information his aunt had filled out a few days prior and saw that he indeed did graduate. “Wow.” She simply said. “That’s amazing.”

 

Hiro beamed.

 

“Thinking of applying anywhere for college?” She asked next.

 

He rocked his head back and forth a little in a thoughtful manner. “I’ve given very little thought about it, honestly. But Tadashi keeps trying to get me to apply to SFIT.”

 

“Are you good with technology as well?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Does that run in the family?” She joked.

 

He nodded again. “I think it does. Both my parents had done something with robotics.”

 

She didn’t reply but wrote something down. “Do you want to do something like that when you get older?”

 

“I’m not really sure. I mean, I probably will end up doing something with robotics, I’ve already done a few little projects with creating things, so it wouldn't be that far a stretch for me to pursue that.” He shrugged.

 

Dr. Pat nodded as she took note of that. “Do you have any questions for me?” She asked after a quiet moment.

 

He thought for a second. “Why did you go into psychology?”

 

A soft smile crossed her face. “I had depression as a teen and my father made me see a therapist.” She began, leaning back in her chair. “I was reluctant for the first few sessions, probably not saying more than five words total. But one day I was having a hard time and just told my therapist everything that night at the session. And slowly over time, she had helped me work through my troubles. I remember waking up one morning and everything just seemed more colourful and lively. I realized then that I wanted to help people be able to wake up in the mornings in a more lively and colourful spirit.” She finished.

 

“Do you really think you could help me?” Hiro asked in a quiet voice as he rested his elbow on the arm of the couch and his head on his palm.

 

She nodded. “I do. It won’t be quick, and it may seem tough at some times, but I do think we can work through your anxiety.”

 

He smiled a hopeful smile. “I hope so.”

 

“Do you want to start talking about it now?” She inquired.

 

A hesitant nod. “Might as well. Don’t want to waste your time.”

 

Dr. Pat shook her head. “You’re not wasting my time.” She clicked her pen open again. “Do you remember when you first started taking notice of your anxiety? Or a day that sticks in your mind?”

 

Hiro thought for a moment. “I remember times where I had a tight feeling in my chest.” He shared. “Even when I was littler. But I remember I’d have those same chest tightening feelings and I’d almost hyperventilate at school. But I don’t really remember when I started taking notice of those.”

 

She nodded and wrote that down. “Now, what goes through your mind when you’re having these attacks?”

 

“Well,” he begins. “I don’t know what thought starts it, it must be really, really subconscious, but once the attack is full fledged, its more of a feeling, than thoughts. At first. I always feel like there is something dangerous or life threatening nearby.” He told her. “A sense of uneasiness and fright. And normally that’s just it. But when I have really bad attacks, that boarder line panic, my thoughts kind of berate me.”

 

“How do those thoughts go?” She questioned.

 

“I think that I shouldn't be worried about anything, I do nothing all day, so I shouldn't have anything to be anxious about. Then I somehow start comparing myself to my brother; like how he never folds under pressure and how he’s always calm and collected.” Hiro admitted. That was the first time he ever told about those thoughts.

 

“Do you compare yourself to Tadashi a lot?” She gently asked, treading carefully.

 

He shrugged. “Sometimes, but normally it’s more of a ‘when am I going to hit puberty so I can finally have a chance at beating him at arm wrestling?’” He forced a little laugh, half joking about that. Tadashi was already starting to go through _the_ _change_ when he was Hiro’s age.

 

“Do you compare yourself to him in a serious matter?” She continued on.

 

“Yeah.” He softly answered.

 

“Do you know why you do that?” She probed.

 

He shook his head. Which was a lie. He compared himself because he wants to be like Tadashi. Tadashi is one of the best role models a growing boy could have; the older male is the most selfless, caring, and nicest person Hiro has ever met. And He’s nowhere near like his older brother.

 

Dr. Pat nodded, getting a sense that Hiro wasn’t being completely honest about that. She wrote his answer down, but put a star next to it, she’ll ask again later. “When you have these attacks, what do you do?”

 

“During them?” He asked to clarify.

 

She nodded.

 

“Usually, they’re just the tightness feeling. I can ignore that and go on with whatever I was doing. But sometimes, usually when the berating thoughts happen, I can’t ignore it and I attempt to distract myself.” He answered.

 

“Does distraction work?”

 

“That’s a hit and miss kind of thing.” He said. “Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.”

 

She glanced at the form Cass had filled out. “So what exactly happened to make you decide to try therapy?”

 

Hiro squirmed in his seat, still partially embarrassed over the whole ordeal. “Well, the other day, I was having a panic attack, started out of nowhere, and my brother caught me hyperventilating in the living room.”

 

“How did he ‘catch’ you?” She questioned.

 

“I hadn’t told anyone of the attacks until then, and it wasn't even my choice.” Hiro sighed.

 

“Ah.” She nodded her head in understanding.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hiro walked into his and Tadashi’s room, surprised to see his brother sitting at his desk, leaning over papers.

 

“Hey.” Hiro greeted.

 

Tadashi held up a hand, telling Hiro to give him a moment. The elder Hamada wrote something down before turning to his brother. “Hey. How’d it go?”

 

“I’m more talkative than I thought I was.” Hiro deadpanned, still not completely happy with having to try therapy; but was, evidently, going to give it his best shot.

 

The twenty-one year old smiled. “I’m glad.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely happy with this chapter, it's more of a filler and I've been working on this since I posted the last chapter. This just did not want to be written. Hope it's okay, its a bit on the short side, but like I said, it's just a filler.  
> Grammer is not a real thing.
> 
> Update April 20th: I have added a scene to the beginning of the chapter, I took into account a review I had gotten that boiled down to not enough brotherly bonding and Tadashi asking about Hiro's therapy.

**Chapter Five**

Tadashi flopped on Hiro’s bed next to his little brother, both staring up at the ceiling.

 

“So, how was your first session?” Tadashi asked curiosity covered his voice.

 

“Nosy.” Hiro playfully shoved at the elder. “Didn’t you already ask me this?”

 

A nod from the 21 year old answered his question. “But, I want to hear all about it.” He turned to look at his little brother’s face. “If you want, I mean.”

 

Hiro shrugged.

 

“Stop that, Bonehead!” Tadashi ruffled the younger’s hair.

 

“And _you_ stop _that_!” Hiro laughed as he pushed the offending hand away.

 

They fell into silence for a moment until Hiro broke it with a sigh.

 

“It was okay.” He said with a sigh.

 

“Just okay?” Tadashi looked at the younger from the corner of his eye.   “You mentioned that you were more talkative?”

 

Hiro nodded. “I surprised myself.”

 

The elder let out a laugh.

 

“I didn’t think I’d talk at all.” Hiro continued. “Her office has a nice atmosphere.” He sat up and moved to lean against his headboard.

 

“Really?” The older brother did the same. “How so?”

 

Hiro fiddled with the edge of his blanket under him. “She has all kinds of books in this huge bookshelf. She said she kept them there because some people ‘like to be distracted’.”

 

The shorthaired male nodded. “That’s nice of her.”

 

A mop of fluffy hair bounced when Hiro nodded. “She is nice, well, from what I can tell.” He sighed. “I hope this helps.” He added so quietly, Tadashi almost didn't hear it.

 

“I’m sure it will.” He smiled down to his little brother.

 

“We didn’t talk about it much today.” The younger stated. “She wanted to know more about me, saying it could help. She mentioned how when she was younger, she had to see a therapist and didn’t want to talk to her because Dr. Pat, that’s my therapist’s name, because Dr. Pat didn’t know her therapist, so she didn’t want to talk. And she also told me why she decided to become a therapist.

 

“We talked a bit about what it was like growing up here and what not, and about you and aunt Cass, and about some of my hobbies. So I guess, maybe that helped me talk a little more than I planned to.” Hiro finished.

 

“So, you’re going to actually give this a shot?” Darker brown eyes glanced down to the younger Hamada.

 

A small nod was Hiro’s response. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

“And you’re going to try what she suggests?” Tadashi continued to clarify.

 

Hiro rolled his own, slightly lighter, brown eyes. “Yes, I am.”

 

“Good!” Tadashi reached over and rubbed a fist over his brother’s head, messing up his hair. “Knucklehead!”

 

“Nerd!” Hiro laughed as he tried to push the elder’s hand off of him, but failed as Tadashi grabbed him and pulled him into a body strangling hug that would rival having a straight jacket on.

 

* * *

 

 

“Just the next time you have an attack,” Dr. Pat began. “Just tell someone.”

 

Hiro was leaning back against the armchair in her office this time. “Then they’ll mother-hen me. I don't like that when I’m not anxious, I didn’t like it when Tadashi did it last week when he found out, I won’t like it with both of them doing it.”

 

It was already his second session, just a few days after his first. The three of them – Dr. Pat, Cass, and Hiro - all agreed twice a week sessions. Why, Hiro wasn’t sure, but he was surprisingly all right with that. 

 

Dr. Pat nodded. “Explain that to them. They’re only trying to help and make sure you’re comfortable.” 

 

Hiro shrugged.

 

The two fell quiet for a moment, Hiro staring at the zen garden on the coffee table and Dr. Pat switched between watching him and writing more observations down on her pad of paper.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Tadashi called.” His Aunt Cass began when Hiro came down the stairs. “An issue came up with his project, so he’s going to be there late tonight.”

 

It wasn’t odd for the older Hamada to not be home until almost midnight, he had done that plenty of times that it was more of an odd occurrence to be home by dinnertime.

 

“The kid’s gonna give himself a heart attack if he keeps working like he is.” Hiro absently commented as he came down the stairs, already in his pajamas.

 

Cass laughed.

 

“Or give himself grey hair.” The younger Hamada chuckled. “A 21 year old with stress caused grey hair. Yep, that’ll get him dates.”

 

“If he’s not home by 10, we’re going to get him. He’s got finals next week.” She sat down on the couch and pulled a blanket off the back. “Sleeping during exams are frowned upon. Well, at least when I was in school.” She trailed off with a thoughtful look on her face. “Anyway, wanna watch _The Blob_ with Mochi and I?” She patted the seat next to her.

 

Hiro nodded.

 

Forty minutes into the movie, he felt the tell tale signs of an attack building in his chest and sat straight up. His eyes shift to his left, making sure his aunt hadn’t noticed his sudden change is posture. For some reason, now whenever he had an attack, he felt like a big yellow sign would suddenly appear above his head, alerting everyone of his weakness.

 

A silent sigh of relief left him when he saw his aunt still glued to the television.

 

Hiro held the edge of the blanket he was using in a white knuckled grip. He could feel his heart start attempt to beat out of his tight-feeling chest as his mind’s thoughts lined up to the starting line for their daily race around.

 

He furrowed his brows in annoyance. He didn’t want to deal with his anxiety today. Can’t he just sit here and watch an old movie with his Aunt Cass?

 

Guess not.

 

He glanced over at his aunt once more, and somehow caught Mochi’s glance.

 

A small smile crossed Hiro’s face. A few times, Mochi had curled up in his lap and the purring had called Hiro down. He wiggled his fingers to gain the cat’s full attention. It took a minute, but finally the cat stood up from Cass’s lap and made his way to Hiro’s.

 

“Stealing my cat?” Cass joked when she felt the pressure suddenly change on her legs.

 

Hiro curtly nodded. Not in the mood to talk. He never was during these attacks. He stroked Mochi’s head when the cat reached him.

 

Cass noticed his silent demeanor. “Hiro?” She turned toward him.

 

“I’m fine.” He lied, a little too quick, not even allowing her to ask a question.

 

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” She watched him carefully and took special note of how he avoided eye contact and stared at the cat that was now draped over his legs.

 

A small nod was all she received.

 

She watched as he tried to take deep, slow breaths while he petted the cat, watched as he would clench then unclench his fist around the blanket without pause, watched as his shoulders tensed. It took her a second to realize he was having an anxiety attack. She had never seen an anxiety attack before, aside from the morning anxiety before one of her two nephews had a presentation back when they were in high school.

 

Hiro was fighting the urge to excuse himself from the room, he always did it before, he could do it again, lie and say he just had an idea for an upgrade and he needs to sketch it out. But he can’t, he won’t. Dr. Pat told him he shouldn't run away to be alone during these things. _‘Being alone with one’s anxious mind could make it worse’_ her voice rang in his head.

 

“Do you need anything?” Aunt Cass’s voice broke through his thoughts; her voice laced with concern, but didn’t sound frantic.

 

He shook his head. He never really needed anything but for the attack to stop so he could carry on with his day.

 

Cass wracked her brain for remembering things to do when a loved one has an anxiety attack. ‘ _Keep a calm voice, ask if they need anything, don’t tell them to calm down, ask if they want to talk about it, talk about random things_ …

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked quietly.

 

Another shake of his head was all she got.

 

She scooted closer to her youngest nephew. Tadashi had told her Hiro doesn’t like to be touched when he’s like this, so she settled for petting Mochi with him. Being closer to him, she could hear him attempt to calm his breathing, and how it hitched every few breaths. Purposely, she slowed her breathing, hoping he’d follow her lead.

 

And he did.

 

“I’m sorry.” Hiro muttered a few minutes after he had calmed down. He still refused to meet her eyes and kept petting Mochi, who loved all the attention he was getting.

 

“Hiro,” Cass began. “There is nothing for you to be sorry about.”

 

“It’s annoying.” He added.

 

She shook her head, even though she understood he was talking more of it being annoying for him. “It’s fine, honey.” She gently rubbed his arm. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.” She gave him a small smile.

 

Hiro huffed. “I hope this therapy thing works.” He muttered.

 

“It will.” _Hopefully_. Cass silently added to herself. _Hopefully_.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the short side. And you know my grammar.

**Chapter Six**

“You said, once when we started, that your parents have passed away when you were younger.” Dr. Pat stated. “And you also have said that you used to follow Tadashi around where ever he went, and that during your attacks you sometimes subconsciously compare your self to him.” She leaned forward in her chair and looked him straight in the eye. “Have you ever had an attack, minus that big one that made you try therapy, have you ever had an attack around him?”

 

Hiro looked back through his memories. “No.”

 

“So, you only have them when he’s not around.” She pondered out loud. 

 

Hiro blinked as things began to click in place. He never had an attack that he could recall when Tadashi was there or around the vicinity. “But I haven’t followed him around like that in years. And I don’t need him around me 24/7 now.”

 

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ears and smiled. “I don’t think this is separation anxiety, which is what is what you’re probably thinking about right now.” She noted. “But I do think you subconsciously worry about him.” She leaned back in her chair again. “I think, deep, deep down, you’re worried about something happening to your brother like what happened to your parents. So as a child, while it’s normal to become attached to a sibling, I think you had slightly different motives to tag along with him.” She watched him for a moment.

 

That did make sense to Hiro. “I do remember one time, I was maybe six and he was around 13, Tadashi had done something slightly stupid, I forget exactly what probably climbed a tree, but he had managed to fall and break his arm and I freaked out probably more than I should have. Even Aunt Cass wasn’t as distraught as I was.”

 

“How did he act when that happened?” Dr. Pat questioned.

 

“I remember him looking at his arm and he just shrugged it off, like it was a normal everyday occurrence to snap your arm like that.” Hiro rushed out, voice raising a bit at the end of his sentence, almost reliving that freak out when he started thinking about how much wrong that day could have gone. Tadashi could have fallen from a slightly different angle and snapped his neck or hurt his back.

 

Dr. Pat watched his internal panic at a past event and wrote everything down.

 

“Seriously? Like what was he thinking?” Hiro practically jumped. “He seriously could have…hurt…him-” Hiro stopped, sat straight up and looked at his therapist. “I think you’re right.”

 

She leaned back in her chair. “Now, I don’t mean for this to be a slap in the face, but things in this world, especially people, are not immortal. Humans are fragile creatures and seemingly non-dangerous things and activities can do some real damage to us.”

 

Hiro nodded. “Yeah.” He sighed. He didn’t want to think about that.

 

Imaginary scenes of suddenly being an only child, never listening to Tadashi scold him for not doing something productive again, not being able to discuss the latest in robotics with his older brother flashed in Hiro’s mind. He didn’t want that to happen.

 

He _really_ didn’t want to think about that. 

 

But he knew how fast something bad could happen. He _did_ lose both of his parents, at the same times. Granted, his memory doesn't go back that far, but he remembers one night having a heart-to-heart with his older brother a few years back. Tadashi told him everything he could remember from that night and events from a few weeks after that. Hiro _knew_ something good could turn sour in less than a heartbeat.

 

“ _‘Enjoy what you have today, for it could be gone tomorrow.’_ ” She quoted absently even though Hiro didn’t hear her.

 

“What should I do?” Hiro broke himself from his thoughts and asked.

 

“Well,” She drummed her pen against her notepad. “First, I think you should talk with your brother about this.” She pointed the pen at Hiro. “Second, you should find someway to get rid of your anxious energy. Do something constructive or anything that takes a lot of concentration.” She told him.

 

He hummed in thought.

 

(---)

 

Bot fighting.

 

Hiro had a smirk on his face as he skimmed the webpage.

 

He had come across a number of discussions online about bot fights, how illegal they were, how fun they were, how much money one could make off of a single fight. He had a few friends on the San Fransokyo section of boards, and they had talked about the fights around town, and gave him a password for the area’s bot fighting page.

 

He typed in the password and was greeted with the homepage of the _San Fran Bot Fights_ website. There was a list off on the side that told of where the bot fights were that night, since they were subjected to change at any moment in case authorities caught wind of the fight. He saw how much the cover charge was to get in, and the minimum bet wage.

 

He was just going to scope everything out that night. Maybe place a bet or two. Make back the cover charge.

 

It didn't take long, and wasn't very hard for him to sneak out of the house after his aunt and brother went to bed. He felt slightly disappointed; he thought it would be at least a small challenge to give his two family members the slip. Maybe next time.

 

He had the page pulled up on his phone as he navigated the alleyways. He knew he was in the right place when he noticed a few people sitting on fire escapes and the sound of cheering could be heard from down the dark passageway.

 

“You got the cover kid?” A big, intimidating man asked Hiro when he turned a corner.

 

The fourteen year old nodded, pulled out the 3000 yen and handed it to the man. The adult counted it real quick then stepped aside to let Hiro through.

 

The short adolescent elbowed his way past people to get to the center of everyone. He could hear metal scraping against metal, and a sound similar to a saw as he got closer to the middle.

 

“Move, kid.” “Watch it!” “Outta my way, kid.” People threw out at him as he pushed his way to the center.

 

When he finally got there, he was just in time to see a robot, almost two times the size of Megabot, with a rotating saw for one hand and a claw for the other, cut the opposing robot’s head off.

 

“Whoa.” Hiro muttered to himself. He watched the next opponent’s robot, a bot even bigger than the one that won the last fight attempt to outsmart the current winner.

 

‘Little Yama’, Hiro learned the smaller bot’s name, whose controller name was Yama, was _the_ bot to beat. Hiro learned throughout the hour he was there, that Yama and his bot won almost every fight in this area. Only lost a handful of times, and those were by default – the cops showing up, weather conditions ruining the night, technical difficulties on his part.

 

The one time someone beat Yama using pure skill, never showed his face around the area again. Being threatened with bodily harm and or worse doesn't normally get along with everyone.

 

Hiro took note of how Little Yama moved, how long it took for the command to travel from Yama to the controller to the bot. The possibility of being beaten up seemed to add a rush to Hiro as he planned the proper upgrades for Megabot.

 

He was going to be Yama and Little Yama.

 

He just found his outlet for his ‘anxious energy’ that would involve ‘a lot of concentration’.

 

Bot fighting.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited, you know how I am. I have GOT to learn to write more details.... Sorry about that.

**Chapter Seven**

Tadashi sat in his bed at a quarter after midnight watching the doorway in his and Hiro’s room. He had the lights off and his arms were crossed across his chest, an annoyed but worried expression on his face.

 

Hiro snuck out.

 

And Tadashi was livid. And worried. And scared.

 

He had no idea where the kid went or where Hiro would even go. Tadashi knew for a fact, his brother didn't really go anywhere, and the places he _did_ go were long closed for the night. And Hiro didn’t hang out with anybody; all the kids his age didn’t like Hiro, thinking he was a know it all.

 

The 21 year old was just getting ready to get up and go search for the 14 year old when he heard the telltale sign of the front door opening and closing softly. Poor kid, Hiro probably thought he was being oh so quiet, and he was, Tadashi wouldn't have heard him if the elder wasn’t waiting up.

 

With a smirk, the older Hamada aimed his table lamp toward the door before switching it off. He kept his hand on the little knob as he waited for the younger to make his way up the stairs.

 

Hiro made sure to avoid the squeaky stairs and floorboards as he made his way to his room. He was pretty proud of himself, he managed to sneak out without getting caught, went to a bot-fight, bet on a few fights, made back his cover charge and a few extra bucks. Now all he had to do was get in bed and act like he’s been there all night.

 

He almost stepped on the last stair, the loudest and squeakiest stair in the whole house, he just managed to avoid it but ended up tripping. He stumbled and stopped himself from falling. He held his breath for a few seconds listening to see if his brother woke up.

 

He continued on when he didn’t hear anything.

 

Then a light was flicked on.

 

His eyes widened.

 

Tadashi smirked and let out a hollow chuckle when he saw how much Hiro seemed like a deer in a pair headlights.

 

“And just where have you been?” His smirk fell and an angry expression took its place.

 

Hiro was quiet for a moment, trying to find his words. “Uh, I was, uh…”

 

Tadashi stood up after fixing the light back to its original position. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?”

 

The younger didn’t say anything.

 

“I can’t tell you how fast my heart stopped when I couldn’t find you anywhere!” Tadashi continued, yelling in hushed tones so he didn’t alert their aunt. “Why would you do something like this?”

 

Hiro shrugged.

 

“Stopped that.” The elder of the two snapped. He took a calming breath before talking again. “Are you hurt?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Tadashi pulled Hiro into a bone-crushing hug, calming a degree knowing his brother was home now, safe and unharmed. “Don’t. Do. This. Again.”

 

Hiro crossed his fingers before nodding.

 

“Where were you?” Tadashi tried again.

 

“Bot fight.” Hiro muttered low enough that his brother couldn’t hear it.

 

“Where?”

 

“Bot Fight.” Hiro repeated at the same volume.

 

“Just a little louder this time.”

 

“Bot. Fight.” Hiro finally spoke up.

 

“Hiro!” Tadashi forgot about being quiet and shouted his brother’s name.

 

“Shhh!” Hiro hissed.

 

“No.” But his older brother lowered his volume anyway. “Those are illegal!”

 

“No, betting is.”

 

“Oh, and I assume you just went there to mingle? Not to gamble?”

  

Tadashi rubbed his face with his hand. “Unbelievable.” He turned to walk back to his side of the room. “This better be a one time thing, or I’m gonna tell Aunt Cass. Now go to bed. For real this time.”

 

“I wanted-” Hiro began to head toward his desk.

 

“Bed.” The elder pointed to his little brother’s bed. “Now.”

 

“But-”

 

“Now. Hiro.” Came the hissed command before a rice paper partition slid closed with a harsh tug.

 

A sigh left the 14 year old before a quiet “Night ‘Dashi.”

 

 

* * *

 

The crowd around the bot ring was cheering loudly as two bots fought it out. The two opponents seemed to be equally matched, either that was the controller’s skills or their bots were both able to deliver heavy blows to the other, it wasn’t easy to make out. But Hiro watched all the same. Who ever won this match, he’d challenge for his first bot fight.

 

He was excited; he’d worked all weekend on his bot’s upgrades. They weren’t big upgrades, and Megabot stayed the same size as he was when he wasn’t meant to be used for anything, but they could help win fights.

 

“The winner!” The woman who served as the referee to the matches called out. “And tonight’s undefeated champ! Yoshi!” She hollered out while motioning toward a middle-aged man who held a triumphant look on his face.

 

“Who wants to be beaten next?” The man, Yoshi called out and raised an eyebrow in a challenging manner.

 

No one stepped forward for a moment.

 

“May I… try?” Hiro nervously stepped forward.

 

Yoshi gave him a once over. “You got money kid?”

 

Hiro nodded and pulled a crumpled up wad of cash out of his pocket and dropped it on the plate the referee held out to him.

 

“Good luck kid, you're gonna need it.” She muttered. She stood back and off to the side of the little fighting ring. She opened up an oil-paper umbrella and held it in between the two fighters. “Fighters ready?” She waited a beat before continuing. “Two bots enter, one bot leaves.”  She looked between the males again then harshly pulled the umbrella out of the ring. “Fight!”

 

Yoshi’s bot, a green robot three times the size of Megabot with spikes on its shoulders and spiked clubs for hands, stumbled toward Hiro’s.

 

Hiro’s heart pounded, not that he didn’t think he could take down this guy’s robot, but because of the adrenalin that was rushing through his veins. His first bot fight! Nerves and excitement seemed to battle it out in his mind; he couldn't tell what he felt more of.

 

But he wasn’t going to be cocky at the moment; there was a chance that Megabot’s upgrades wouldn't be good enough to beat Yoshi’s bot. Hiro saw how tough of a punch Yoshi’s bot could throw, hopefully, Megabot could take it.  

 

Yoshi’s bot would try to hit Hiro’s a few times he succeeded in breaking apart the little magnetic robot, but ultimately, Megabot slithered around Yoshi’s and pulled a Cobra move as it wrapped around Yoshi’s bot’s neck.

 

“The new winner!” The lady suddenly yelled when Yoshi’s robot, headless, failed to get back up. She pointed to Hiro, “What’s your name kid?”

 

Hiro gave a nervous smile, “Hiro.”

 

“Hiro!” She finished and held out the bet plate to the fourteen year old who quickly grabbed his first winnings.

 

“Congratulations, Hiro.” Yoshi stood up and walked over to the teen. The man held out his hand.

 

Hiro nervously shook Yoshi’s hand. “Thank you.” He didn’t particularly like the way the man was looking at him; some kind of angry glint was barely hidden in his eyes.

 

He let out a relieved breath when Yoshi walked away.

 

* * *

Hiro won three more times that night before he decided he was done for the time being. He was walking down the alley, away from the bot ring, with a smile on his face. He was so cheerful, he wasn’t aware of the fast approaching footsteps behind him until he was grabbed by the hood and lifted into the air.

 

“Well now,” A voice said as Hiro was slammed into the wall next to him. “What do we have here?”

 

Hiro blinked as his vision focused. Yoshi was standing in front of him. And the three other men that Hiro had beaten stood behind Yoshi.

 

“Um, may I help you?” The young Hamada stuttered.

 

Yoshi leant down and got in the boy’s face. “You’re pretty good at cheating.”

 

Hiro furrowed his brows in confusion. “I didn’t cheat.”

 

Yoshi pulled Hiro away from the wall before shoving him back against it. “Oh, really?”

 

Hiro slowly nodded, ignoring the dull ache that intensified at the jerky movement.

 

“Because we’ve never seen you around here before.” The man in the yellow shirt behind Yoshi stated.

 

“Nobody is that good their first fight.” A second man, who wore a beanie hissed.

 

The third guy was silent, but cracked his knuckles almost dramatically.

 

* * *

Tadashi was leaning against Hiro’s desk in their room shaking his head as he looked at Hiro’s empty bed.

 

“He snuck out again.” He mumbled to himself. He was livid, but him worrying over Hiro overshadowed the angriness, for the time being. He paced back and forth, rubbing his hands over his face. “Where did he go this time?” He muttered out loud to himself. “I hope he’s not hurt.”

 

He glanced at the clock. It was almost one in the morning.

 

Just as he was about to go wake his aunt, his phone rang from where it was plugged in. He practically leapt across the room to see who was calling.

 

His heart stopped.

 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate all the lovely reviews you guys have left :) Thank you ever so much for them, I'm really glad you all like this story. :)
> 
> Grammer and spelling.... have you heard of such a thing?
> 
> I also apologize for how short this one is. Just a filler.

**Chapter Eight**

“H-hello?” Tadashi answered his phone. There would only be two reasons why the police would be calling him at this time of night.

 

“Tadashi Hamada?” The gruff voice on the other end of the line asked.

 

“Yes?” The 21 year old hesitantly replied.

 

There was a shuffling noise for a second then silence.

 

“‘Dashi?” Hiro’s voice came on the line.

 

Tadashi released a breath he hadn’t realized he had held since his phone rang. “Hiro.” He sighed in relief.

 

“Can you come pick me up?” The fourteen year old’s voice sounded shaky. “I’m at the police station.”

 

The elder nodded his head, even though he knew Hiro couldn’t see. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a few.”

 

Tadashi didn’t hang up until Hiro did, making sure whoever had called didn’t want to say something else. He quickly changed and quietly rushed down the stairs.

 

He slapped his helmet on and slammed the key into the ignition of his moped. ‘He’s in so much trouble.’ He thought as he pulled out of the garage and headed towards the police station, to pick up his, hopefully non-delinquent, little brother.

 

(---)

 

“Hi,” Tadashi greeted the desk sergeant. “I’m here to pick up my little brother.”

 

“Name?” The same gruff voice from the phone asked.

 

“Hamada, Hiro.” The elder brother leaned against the desk.

 

The sergeant typed something on his computer before looking at Tadashi. “He’ll be out momentarily.”

 

“Is,” The 21 year old hesitated. “Is he charged for something?”

 

“Not this time.” The older man behind the desk informed him.

 

“Then why is he here?” The Hamada inquired.

 

The man sighed, as if Tadashi’s presence was a burden. “Technically, we didn’t catch him doing anything, he was just suspiciously in the area of some bot fights, and the men he was with _were_ bot fighting, so.” He trailed off.

 

“So?” Tadashi dragged out the questioning word.

 

The Sergeant didn't reply, instead there was a loud buzzing sound and Hiro walked out of the door.

 

“Hiro!” The older brother reached out and pulled the younger into a bone-crushing hug. When he pulled back, he made sure Hiro saw _the look_ he was giving, the look that said ‘ _you are so in trouble’_.

 

Hiro sighed. “Sorry.” He muttered as he felt his older brother start poking him all over, making sure he wasn't hurt.

 

“Are you hurt?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Another lung-squeezing hug was given before something being said about going home.  

 

(---)

 

Hiro shuffled quietly behind his brother as they made their way through the house up to their room, both being cautious of the squeaky floorboards and steps.

 

“What were you thinking?” Tadashi hissed when they were ‘safely’ in their room. He had been oddly quiet since he picked Hiro up, that the younger almost thought he’d get out of a lecture tonight.

 

“I-” He tried.

 

“At least I hope you were thinking.” The elder took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair, which stuck up in odd directions. “Bot fights are dangerous. The people that go there are dangerous.” He looked at Hiro; fright covered Tadashi’s expression more than anger did. “Hiro, you’re a fourteen year old kid; do you know what they could do to a kid like you?” Unspoken horrors were vocalized in the way his voice wavered as he thought of scenarios that all ended up with his little brother in a ditch or the hospital.

 

“But nothing happened.” Hiro tried to say.

 

“Not tonight.” His brother’s gaze hardened. “Who were those men that the officers caught you with?” He asked as he remembered what that sergeant said.

 

“I don’t know them.” The younger looked away.

 

“Then what were you doing hanging out with them?” The twenty-one year old leaned against the wall.

 

Hiro didn’t respond.

 

“Hiro.” The younger’s name was said in a warning tone.

 

He sighed. “They were mad that I beat them in some fights.”

 

An unidentifiable look flashed across the elder’s face. “You actually fought tonight?!” His voice was a yelled whisper, horror lacing the tone.

 

Hiro nodded his head then reached into his pocket to pull out his winnings and Megabot.

 

“Hiro!” Tadashi couldn’t do anything but stare at his little, _not_ _innocent_ brother. “Why would you… What made you…” He couldn’t string together his thoughts because too many ran through his mind.

 

The younger Hamada shrugged. “If you’re good at something, might as well make some money off of it.”

 

Tadashi grabbed Megabot out of tiny hands. “That is NOT and ‘inspirational’ quote you should be following.” He scolded.

 

Another shrug. “Dr. Pat said I should get a hobby to get rid of anxious energy I may have.”

 

A dark brow eye twitched in annoyance. “I know I don’t go to your sessions, and I’ve never had a therapist, but I’m almost, a hundred percent sure that an _illegal_ hobby is not what she meant.”

 

“It’s what I’m good at.” Hiro took a step forward, closer to his brother. “And I think it’s fun.”

 

They were quiet for a moment as they stared each other down.

 

“You’re not going bot fighting again.” Tadashi stated.

 

“Why not?” Hiro asked in an annoying tone of voice.

 

“Because I said so.” His older brother leaned down to be more eye level, but still taller to Hiro.

 

“Why not?” Came the whining voice again.

 

Tadashi stood straight up. “It’s dangerous. It’s illegal. And because I said so.”

 

A shade lighter of brown than Tadashi’s own narrowed. “You can’t tell me what to do.” His voice raised in volume.

 

“Yes I can.” So did Tadashi’s.

 

“No, you can’t!” 

 

“And why not?”

 

“Because you're not my father.” Hiro stated harshly.

 

The older Hamada took in a sharp breath and stepped back as if Hiro’s words had burnt him. “Good night, Hiro.” He walked over to his side of the room and slammed the partition shut, leaving Hiro standing where he was, and taking Megabot with him.

 

(---)

 

Tadashi spent the next week modifying tracking devices he had bought and secretly sewed them into Hiro’s jackets and shorts.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-Oh. Don't mind the grammar mistakes, they don't matter in the end.  
> Mwahahahahaha!

**Chapter Nine**

Six months. Six long, worry filled months of Hiro sneaking out to bot fights, Tadashi tracking him down, saving the younger’s ass from ticked off gang members, and dragging the kid back home.

 

And Tadashi had enough of it. 

 

Tonight was the final straw.

 

The elder Hamada sighed as his phone beeped. He _knew_ that beep; that particular beep was from the app he has connected to Hiro’s tracking devices.

 

Tadashi closed his notebook and switched off his desk lamp, grabbing his jacket and bag, he rushed out of his school lab not even saying goodbye to his friends who were still hanging around. He jogged the length from his lab door to his moped as he opened the app to find out where his little brother was.

 

Hiro was close by; just a few blocks over, and down some, most likely, scary alleys.

 

And he was right.

 

* * *

 

 

This was _his_ night, the night he was going to go up against Yama. Hiro had the most noticeable bounce in his step as he made his way to the bot fight, he pulled out the entrance fee with an almost sinister smile before he dropped it all in favor of his innocent act that has worked at all the other bot fights.

 

He hunched his shoulders and angled his face down as he made his way through the crowd. He was so in character he’d even hitch his breath every few minutes to show just how ‘nervous’ he was. He feigned awestruck wonder as he watched Little Yama beat it’s opponent.

 

“Alright!” Yama called out as he took his winnings. “Who’s next?” He laughed. “Who want’s to fight against Little Yama?”

 

Everyone was fell silent as they waited for the next brave soul to step forward.

 

“C-can I try?” Hiro spoke up from behind a few people. The crowd pulled a Moses and parted so Yama could see his possible opponent. The young teen shyly looked around.  “I have a robot.” He held up Megabot.

 

Anyone who was there was mentally laughing. That little, _tinytinytiny_ robot was going to go up against the champ?

 

“I built it myself.” Hiro finished quietly.

 

Oh, _that_ explains it. The crowd, Yama included, laughed as if Hiro just told the greatest joke that anyone had ever heard.

 

The lady, who was refereeing smirked, then got serious. “Beat it kid. House rules gotta pay to play.”

 

Hiro nodded vigorously while pulling some money out of his pocket. “Is this enough?”

 

“What’s your name little boy?” Yama asked through his chuckles.

 

“Hiro.” Hiro said in a small voice.

 

Yama looked thoughtful for a split second before motioning to the ring. “Prepare your bot then, _Zero_.” He taunted.

 

To continue to humor everyone around him, Hiro threw the first fight and convinced Yama to give him another try; he had more money the teen assured by flashing the roll of paper.

 

 _This fight_ , Hiro was going to win.

 

“Megabot,” Hiro began after the lady started the second fight. “Destroy.” He pulled the controller apart, revealing more controls.

 

The smirk Yama had been wearing since he saw Hiro promptly fell.

 

Everyone stood back in shock as the little, _tinytinytiny_ robot proceeded to rip Little Yama apart, part of which was destroyed by Little Yama’s own arm.

 

Hiro couldn’t believe it, while he was cocky when he came into the ring, he didn’t actually think his plan would work. He didn’t expect to actually win. Oh who was he kidding? Hiro knew he’d win, knew exactly what he was going to do, came up with different predictions of what Yama and Little Yama would try to throw at him and Megabot.

 

And he came out victorious.

 

“What?” Yama asked as he held the head of what used to be Little Yama. “How?”

 

Hiro shrugged innocently. “I’m just as surprised as you are.” He grabbed his winnings, unaware of the crowd backing up hastily, or of Yama’s towering form coming closer to him until the collar of his shirt was roughly grabbed.

 

“No one hustles Yama!” The man shoved Hiro up against a wall. He grabbed Megabot out of Hiro’s hands before turning his back. “Teach him a lesson boys.” Yama directed his attention to three of his friends.

 

“Come on guys!” Hiro tried to smile, though it wavered. “Let’s talk about this.”

 

That's a chat they wouldn't be having. At that exact moment a familiar looking moped knocked down the four grown men.

 

“Tadashi!” Hiro jumped with a relieved smile.

 

“Get on.” His older brother commanded he handed Hiro a helmet before taking off down the same alley he just came from.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then what were you thinking, knucklehead?” Tadashi used one of his arms to reach behind him and try to hit his brother, not hard enough to hurt or really do anything other than to knock some sense into him.

 

“You have good timing.” Hiro avoided the question. He turned to look behind him in time to see that Megabot was attempting to catch up to them. He smiled and held out his hand as he caught the little bot.

 

“Bot fighting is illegal.” Tadashi began his bot fighting scolding speech. “You’re going to get yourself arrested, or hurt.” He had to turn them around when the reached a dead end. Soon they were headed right back to where Yama and his friends were. “Hold on!” The elder Hamada called back when he saw a perfectly placed board leaning against some crates, making a small ramp to drive up to jump over the people pursuing them.

 

Hiro held on to his brother’s shoulders as they flew through the air. When he looked over, he saw their reflection in a window; an angry scowl was written on Tadashi’s face, while a joyful smile was on his. “But I’m on a roll!” Hiro beamed. “I’ve been practicing to beat that guy since I first went to a bot fight!”

 

“Make different goals! More legal ones!” Tadashi swerved the moped around a corner.

 

“And besides!” Hiro had to yell over the engine of their get-away scooter. “Bot fighting is _not_ illegal. It’s the betting that is.” He patted the pocket that held his money and chuckled. “There’s no stopping me.”

 

But there was.

 

And with a flurry of red and blue flashing, a piercing wail of sirens, a cold sensation of metal wrapped around wrists, and a slamming of two separate cell doors, he was put to a stop.

 

For now.

 

* * *

 

 

They listened to their aunt complain and scold the two of them as she drove them home, being mindful of the hills and turns a little more than usual since Tadashi’s moped was loaded in the back, not tied down. They were quiet for the entire trip, just letting her rant until the got to the door.

 

With love and apologies, the brothers left her and Mochi stress eating in favor of going to their room.

 

“Well,” Tadashi started as he hung up his helmet on the hook by the stairs. “I hope you learned your lesson, bonehead, before Aunt Cass eats everything in the café.”

 

The younger wasn’t listening to the words being said as he pulled up the bot-fighting page. “Uh, yep.” He replied, hoping that's what his brother was wanting as an answer.

 

“What-” The elder Hamada walked up behind his little brother. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips when he saw the San Fran Bot Fights page pulled up. “Unbelievable. You’re going fighting? Again?”

 

Hiro shrugged as he pushed himself away from his desk. “There’s another fight across town. If I leave now, I can make it.” He pushed past the taller of the two.

 

Tadashi grabbed Hiro by his hood. “When are you going to do something with that big brain of yours?” He poked Hiro’s forehead to emphasize his point.

 

“And what?” Hiro pulled from his big brother’s grip. “Go to college, like you? And be told things I already know?” He rolled his eyes and started walking away again.

 

“You’re not leaving this house.” Tadashi sternly said. He was tired of having to chase his little brother around the dark alleys of the less than reputable areas of San Fransokyo all hours of the night.

 

The younger ignored him. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

 

“Yes I can.” Tadashi countered.

 

Hiro found the best way to get his brother to shut up was to argue that the elder couldn’t tell him what to do then after a few back and forths of ‘yes I can, not you can’t’ was to say “You’re not my dad.”

 

The two fell quiet for a moment then Hiro took his leave.

 

“Wait.” Tadashi quietly said.

 

“What now?” The fourteen year old snapped and turned around.

 

“Catch.” Was all Hiro heard before a helmet was being tossed to him.

 

“What?” Hiro asked, confused.

 

“Well, I can’t keep you from bot-fighting, and I’m not letting you go alone.” Tadashi muttered as he walked over to where he just hung his helmet.

 

“Sweet!” Hiro smiled and hopped down the stairs, missing a new twinkle that was in his _nii-san’s_ eyes.

 

Tadashi had a plan.

 

* * *

 

 

And his plan _worked_.

 

If he was being honest, for a moment, Tadashi didn’t think it would. How Hiro was still bouncing down the hall at the prospect of going to another bot-fight, even when the young teen was talking to a professor, Hiro still wanted to go to the fight. But when they were leaving and Hiro said he had to go there with a declaration of  “ _I’m going to lose my mind_ ”, Tadashi knew it worked.

 

That’s all he could think about when he, his friends and Hiro wheeled in the tubs of Hiro’s Microbots. Then after Hiro rejected Krei’s offer and took Callaghan’s for entrance into the school, all Tadashi could think about was how Hiro was going to change the world.

 

“Welcome to nerd school.” He said as he leant against the rail of the bridge, looking out over the river and at the Ito Ishioka Robotics Lab, then turned his head to his little brother. “Nerd.”

 

They stood there quietly for a moment.

“Thanks.” Hiro began quietly. “You know, for not giving up on me.”

 

Before either could say anything else, a loud alarm rang through the air, destroying the calm atmosphere that was there. They both took off toward the sound and were shocked to see the showcase building, the same building they were _just_ in, not even ten minutes ago, up in flames.

 

Tadashi gasped when he saw a woman struggling to stay upright and catch her breath. “Are you okay?” He asked, running up to her.

 

“Yeah.” She coughed more than said the word. “But Callaghan’s still in there.” She staggered off toward the paramedics.

 

It took Hiro a moment to realize his brother wasn’t by him anymore, but running _toward_ the stairs of the building. “Tadashi!” Hiro yelled as he tried to catch up. He made a grab of his brother’s hand. “No!” He tried to pull the elder back and away from the burning building.

 

Tadashi looked at his brother, adrenaline pumping too much in his veins to properly see the horror on Hiro’s face. “Callaghan’s in there.” The older Hamada stated, fear evident in his eyes, but determination was also there. “Someone has to help.”

 

And with that, he pulled out of Hiro’s grasp, sending the younger one last, almost apologetic, look before taking off into the building, hat falling off his head in the process.

 

Hiro’s heart stopped and time seemed to slow down as he reached down to pick up his brother’s favorite hat, his lucky hat.

 

‘I can’t lose my brother.’ Hiro thought as he went to take a step toward the building.

 

Then there was an ear-shattering _BOOM_ and he saw nothing but white while he felt his feet leave the ground. When he was able to see again, he was laying on the ground. He blinked back tears as he turned to look at the building.

 

Well, what was _left_ of the building.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me.  
> It's Canon.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a tad longer than usual, and is a tad shorter than usual. 
> 
> I also want to say, I know that I'm not following the movie dialogue to a T. I'm meaning to do that. I've ghosted over things, and I'll continue ghosting over things. And I've gotten a few messages about how anxiety and panic attacks aren't in the main stage of the story anymore. Trust me, they are. I can only vouch for my /personal experience/, even though I get attacks 8-9 times a day, not all of them are big ones that knock me down. I can continue doing whatever I was doing most of the time. So I'm not writing attacks in /every/ chapter. But from now on, they will be more frequent. 
> 
> disclaimer (because I tend to forget these annoying little words): I don't own this.

**Chapter Ten**

Hiro couldn’t breathe.

 

He couldn’t breathe and he was pretty sure his heart wasn't beating anymore.

 

Everything just came to a crashing, earth shattering, _life ending_ halt.

 

He saw everything brighter than it needed to be, sharper than it needed to be. He’s never been one for details unless it was for his benefit, be at that point, he noticed everything yet nothing. How the fire seemed to dance up the remains of the pillars that had once, only fifteen minutes ago, stood tall as it greeted students into the hall. He saw a section of the banner that was hung across the top of the building laying across some bushes of to the side of him, even took note of how the edges were burnt and tattered.

 

He saw it all; and he wasn't even focused on it.

 

Brown eyes stayed glued to where Tadashi had run in. White and orange invaded his vision, _burning_ his eyes, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t, wouldn’t look away.

 

Whether it was from the explosion or his lack of focus on anything but the building, all the sounds around him were muffled. It sounded as if everything were underwater, deep underwater. He didn’t hear the sounds of over a dozen emergency vehicles speeding to the scene, the yells and cries from the other witnesses and people that ran out of the building. He didn’t hear any of it, only the crackling of the flames and the snaps of building materials; and those seemed to be exceptionally loud and echoing in his head.

 

“Tadashi!” He finally managed to cry out. Hiro wasn’t sure if his voice was actually yelling - in his mind he was yelling, screaming actually, at the top of his lungs – or if he just whispered his brother’s name. “Tadashi!” He repeated, more heartbrokenly loud.

 

It began to click in his mind, that Tadashi wasn’t going to come out.

 

His breath hitched and got stuck in his lungs, but the tears were freely falling, racing down his cheeks. ‘ _Come out,  ‘Dashi, come out._ ’ He prayed as he gripped the hat in his hands, holding it tight to his chest in a tight iron grip. Hiro prayed for Tadashi to walk out of the fire, with or without Callaghan – Hiro doesn’t care about anyone else at the moment. He wants his older brother to be perfectly fine and safe and to walk out to Hiro. “Please, ‘Dashi.”  He whispered brokenly.

 

He paid no mind to the fire fighters that were sprinting up to the building, hoses being pulled behind them.

 

“Kid,” One of the firemen, the one closest to the fourteen year old. “Kid, get back.”

 

Hiro didn’t reply, instead, he just stared at the fire.

 

“Kid!” The fireman tried again to get Hiro’s attention. “Kid!”

 

Finally, slowly brown eyes shifted from where his brother had disappeared to the fireman.

 

“Get. Back.” The older man worriedly snapped.

 

“Not until my brother comes out of there.” Hiro _rudely_ snapped before returning his gaze to the inferno.

 

‘ _Come on, Tadashi! Come out!_ ’

 

“Kid!” A different voice yelled form behind him.

 

He didn’t respond until there was hand on his shoulder, making him jump and turn to look at the person behind him.

 

“Kid, you need to get out of here!” A young female paramedic almost pleaded with him. “Come on.”

 

“No.” Hiro stayed rooted where he sat, his breath picking up ten fold when she started to pull him up off the concrete. “Don’t touch me!” He jerked his arm out of her grasp.

 

_Just like how Tadashi pulled from Hiro’s hand to go off and play hero._

“I’m not leaving.” Hiro sternly stated he looked back at the building. “Not until my brother comes out.”

 

He wasn't paying attention to her anymore, so he didn’t hear her sigh. “Kid, if anyone’s in there-”

 

Brown eyes shot to look at her. “Don’t finish that sentence.” His voice lost the hard edge it had seconds prior to take on a softer, broken tone.

 

“You need to get away from here.” She spoke in a quite voice. She reached for his arm again.

 

“But,” His breath hitched stopping his sentence from being spoken. He looked back at the building; fire was spilling out of the windows now, having shattered the all the glass.

 

Finally he nodded and stood up. He let the paramedic guide him down the sidewalk toward one of the ambulances.

 

Then there was an echoing _crack_ that snapped through the air.

 

Hiro and the paramedic whipped around and saw the top half of the front wall of the building collapse into the fiery pit of the inside.

 

“No.” Hiro cried. He couldn’t feel his legs anymore as they gave out from under him and he fell back to the ground. The paramedic tried to catch the young teen, but was shocked herself and didn’t reach out in time. “I can’t be the last one.” He whispered to himself, unable to take his red and puffy eyes off of the train wreck of a disaster in front of him.

 

He couldn’t breathe, his lungs refused to cooperate as he tried to take breaths in. He placed a hand on his chest and pressed it against him, he could feel his heart pounding a mile a minutes even as it hurt him. But whether that was the fact he just witnessed his older brother run into his fiery grave, or the fact that his heart wasn’t meant to beat that fast, _ever_ , was beyond him.

 

“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” The paramedic’s gentle voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

He tried to shake his head, attempted to tell her not to touch him, but he couldn’t so much as move, let alone speak out.

 

Hiro’s brown eyes burned as he scrunched them closed, letting tears free themselves from the corners. His throat and nose even burned when he tried to breathe. “I can’t breathe.” 

 

She sat him down on a gurney. “Shh. You’ve inhaled too much smoke.” She told him as he wheezed.

 

In his mind, Hiro knew that was only _part_ of the issue, he knows a panic attack when he feels one.

 

And he’s pretty sure this one won’t ever end.

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little longer, I'm working on a chapter I'm going to add into the middle of the story - taking a review I got into consideration. 
> 
> I'm actually pretty happy that this story, in my word doc, is exactly 50 pages. 
> 
> Grammer is a mythological creature that exists only in one's mind. My mind is not one of those it exists in.

**Chapter Eleven**

Just as Cass was going to give Tadashi a call to see where the two were, her phone had rung with an unknown number on the screen.

 

“Hello?” She answered as she went around the corner into the back room of the Café, away from the chatter of Tadashi’s friends.

 

“Cass Hamada?” A deep, masculine voice questioned.

 

“Y-yes? This is she, who’s calling?” Sudden fear gripped her heart. Phone calls that started out like this were never good calls.

 

“Officer Michaels, ma’am.” He started. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.” He was hesitant to begin.

 

“My nephews? Where are they?” Cass’s quiet voice rose in pitch as her imagination ran wild.

 

“Hiro is being taken to the hospital right now, he’s being treated for smoke inhalation and a concussion.” Officer Michaels told her. “A-and.” He trailed off.

 

“Oh my gosh.” She whispered in slight relief. While Hiro being taken to a hospital was a bad thing, at least he was alive. He was alive and was going to be fine. “Tadashi?”

 

The officer didn’t reply right away. “Um,”

 

“Sir? Where’s my oldest?” Her back straightened even though she was leaning against the wall, she didn’t like how the officer fell quiet.

 

“The college’s showcase building caught on fire.” He tried to avoid getting to the answer to her question. “According to Hiro, Tadashi was in the building after the fire started but shortly before it exploded.”

 

“Where. Is. He?” She demanded, tears already streaming down her face. She _knew_ , but needed confirmation.

 

He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “He, he didn’t make it out.”

 

Cass didn't feel herself fall to the floor, sliding down the wall she was leaning against for support, and dropping her phone in the process.

 

“Cass?” Honey Lemon and Gogo rushed to the sound of her sobbing.

 

“Cass what’s wrong?” Honey asked, kneeling down to be eye-level with the woman.

 

“There-” Cass started, but her voice wasn’t cooperating with her. “There was a fire at the school.”

 

“Are they alright?” Wasabi asked as he and Fred stood in the doorway.

 

She shook her head, hands going to cover her face. “Hiro’s being taken to the hospital.” Her breath hitched as she tried to take a breath and cry at the same time. “Tadashi didn’t, he was in-” She couldn’t finish.

 

The group sat in silence, all crowded into the small workroom around the sobbing and heartbroken baker.

 

(---)

 

Cass ran into the waiting room of the hospital, leaving the group at the café, them promising that they would help the staff close up for the night. 

 

She stumbled, not being about to see through the tears in her eyes, to the receptionist’s desk.

 

“Hiro Hamada.” Cass mumbled to the lady at the desk.

 

The older woman gave Cass a small smile as she put on her glasses and started typing on the keyboard. “He’s getting an MRI at the moment, then he’s going to have a few chest x-rays, just to make sure the smoke he inhaled didn’t damage anything.”

 

“Is he going to be okay?”

 

“Are you family?” The receptionist asked.

 

“I’m his aunt, his legal guardian.” Cass whimpered. Her only family left, and she was his.

 

The lady smiled. “He should be fine, he was in stable condition when they brought him in, and it says right here that he’s still stable.” She motioned to the empty chairs along one of the walls. “The doctor will be coming from those doors in a while.”

 

“Thank you.” Cass muttered as she made her way to one of the chairs to wait.

 

 _This didn’t just happen. This_ isn’t _happening. Wake up, Cass! Wake up!_

 

(---)

 

Cass shoved her way into Hiro’s hospital room the minute the doctor let her, sending her off with the knowledge that the youngest Hamada had a mild concussion and moderate smoke inhalation. He just needed to stay the night to be monitored.

 

“Oh, Hiro.” She cried. The tears started up again when she saw her only family member left’s devastated face.

 

Hiro pulled the oxygen mask away form his nose. “Aunt Cass.” Was all he could say as he was pulled into a gentle, but firm hug from his aunt.

 

“Oh, hun.” She murmured into his hair “I’m so sorry.”

 

“No, no, _I’m_ sorry.”  He pulled away to take another breath from the mask.

 

Cass shook her head. “This isn’t you’re fault.” She ran her fingers through his tangled, soot covered hair.

 

He yanked the mask back off. “If I had held on to his arm just a little tighter, or for a little longer he wouldn’t have ran in there!” The tears cut more trails down his face, clearing the ash and dirt that covered him.

 

“This still isn’t your fault.” She sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

 

“But-” He started, but got cut off when he began to cough a deep, chest-rattling cough.

 

“Put the mask back on.” Cass instructed, guiding his hand back to his face. “Hiro, he _chose_ to run in there, that isn’t your fault.”

 

He mumbled something into the mask that she couldn't quite make out.

 

“Do what?” She asked.

 

He sighed and pulled the mask off, again. “But I could have tried harder.” He repeated, the tears had yet to stop falling down his cheeks since his brother pulled from his grip oh so many hours ago. He hiccupped as he placed the oxygen mask back on his face.

 

His aunt just shook her head as she reached over to him again to pull him into another hug.

 

(---)

 

“Dr. Pat called.” Cass softly spoke when Hiro finally made his way down stairs to the kitchen. Three days after he returned home, and that was the first time he left his room.

 

He didn’t say anything, but nodded to let her know he heard her speak to him.

 

“When did you want to reschedule your next session?” Cass spoke as if she were walking on eggshells. She watched as he got a cup of juice and made his way into the living room with her.

 

“I don’t want to continue.” He muttered. He didn’t want to think of anxiety now. The whole reason he went was because _Tadashi_ talked him into it, because _Tadashi_ had found him panicking, because _Tadashi_ was the first one Hiro ever talked to about his anxiety, because _Tadashi_ was the whole reason for it. Hiro was always subconsciously worried about his brother being ripped from him in the blink of an eye.

 

And now that Tadashi had been, Hiro just wanted to sulk and be depressed and grieve in peace.

 

Cass sighed. “Hiro, I know you don’t believe that-” She hesitated. “I think these are good for you. Especially now.”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Hun, you need someone to talk to.” She turned toward him. “Past experience says you probably don't want to talk with me about your feelings. And you seemed to have benefitted from your previous sessions…” She trailed off.

 

“I don’t want to.” He whispered, not meeting her eyes.

 

Silence enveloped them for a handful of minutes.

 

“How about this.” Cass said, more determination in her voice. “I’ll make you another session.”

 

Hiro turned to argue that he didn’t want to do that but was promptly cut off.

 

“Now, wait, let me finish.” She held up her hand, her almost-parental voice coming into the tone. “You go to another session, then decide if you want to continue or not.”

 

Hiro rolled his eyes and stood up to stomp back upstairs.

 

“And you better actually try. I will ask Dr. Pat if you were any more talkative as you normally are during these.” She called after him.

 

He didn’t acknowledge her.

 

(---)

 

He stayed curled up underneath his blankets for the remainder of the day, back facing Tadashi’s side of their – Hiro’s, now, just Hiro’s room. He couldn’t bear to so much as breath towards the empty side hidden behind the thin rice paper partition; he couldn’t bear to think about how _that side_ of the room was waiting patiently for it’s inhabitant to return; he couldn’t bear to think about how the aforementioned inhabitant would _not_ be returning to _that side_ of the room, or any room for that matter.

 

He couldn’t cry anymore. He did enough of that the night it happened, and the day following. He wanted to, he wanted to keep crying, keep crying for forever but his eyes wouldn’t allow it. His heart wanted to, but he just couldn’t physically cry any longer.

 

His already small family was even smaller now.

 

And it was _his_ fault.

 

If he had never have gone bot fighting, then Tadashi wouldn’t have dragged Hiro to see the lab he worked in at school with a fib of ‘forgetting something’, then Hiro would never had met Callaghan and wouldn’t have been inspired to actually attend the famed ‘nerd school’, he never would have invented the Microbots for the showcase, and they never would have been remotely _near_ the building when flames decided to dance there.

 

A chocked, dry sob escaped his lips as he buried his face in his pillow.

 

This was all, no matter how indirectly, _Hiro’s fault_.

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may have added more detail in this one! But of course, I use a larger font when I type it up... so... haha. 
> 
> Grammer is a nonexistent inanimate object.

**Chapter Twelve**

 

She had a pity smile on her face when Hiro walked into her office. Dr. Pat sat in her normal seat, watching him. Hiro didn’t say anything as he closed the door and took a seat as close to it as possible; the second this session was over, he was leaving.

 

“Hi, Hiro.” She greeted quietly.

 

He mumbled something she couldn’t understand, but was made to be a way of saying hello.

 

She was quiet for a few minutes, waiting for him to speak, but she eventually got the hint that he wasn’t going to speak first. “Is there anything you want to talk about today?” She had an idea of what they’d be talking about – if Hiro decided to talk. Dr. Pat honestly wouldn’t blame him if he refused to do so, if they were to switch places, she _wouldn’t_ talk.

 

“I don’t want to be here.” Hiro finally whispered, his breath hitching at the end.

 

She clicked her pen open. “Where? The session?”

 

He nodded. “No offense.” He refused to make eye contact. “I don’t want them anymore. But Aunt Cass said I have to have a few more. She’s hoping I change my mind.” It took a lot of will power to keep his voice soft and even.

 

“Why don’t you want them anymore?” She questioned softly. “A lot of people benefit from therapy when they’re grieving.”

 

He shook his head sharply. “I don’t want to.” A half-hearted snapped answer filled the room. “I see no point in these anymore.”

 

“May I ask why?”

 

“I just don’t.” Hiro huffed and looked at the clock.

 

Four minutes down, fifty-six to go.

 

(---)

 

He slammed the door close to the living space above of the café and stomped up the stairs. He was just crossing the kitchen and making his way into his room when his aunt harshly opened the door he just came through.

 

“Hiro Hamada!” She scolded, following him up to the kitchen where he paused. “That was uncalled for! You’re actions at Dr. Pat’s was unnecessary!”

 

He rolled his eyes and started climbing the stairs again.

 

“No.” She sternly said. “Get down here. Sit in this chair.”

 

He did as he was told and plopped in the dining chair closes to him. “What.” He snapped.

 

“Why did you behave like that?” Cass’s voice softened.

 

He shrugged and looked away. He knew it was rather childish to have acted that way, storming out of his session with more than a half-hour left, talking the way he did to his therapist even though she didn’t do anything to warrant that kind of response from him.

 

“That’s not an answer.”

 

_That’s not a response for anything I just said._

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

 

“Then why did you act that way?” She sat in the chair next to him.

 

“I told you I didn’t want to go!” He whined. “But you made me go anyway!” He dropped his head to the table, smacking his forehead against the wood top.

 

“I made you go because I think it’s what’s best for you.” She quietly told him. She rested a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

 

“Yeah, well Tadashi thought he knew what was best for me too.” He muttered softly enough into the table Cass couldn’t make out what he was saying. Tadashi just _had_ to show him SFIT, just _had_ to introduce him to Callaghan, just _had_ to subtly make Hiro love the school. Tadashi thought he knew what was best for Hiro- doing something that would challenge him and put his mind to use. And look where that got the older Hamada.

 

“What?” She inquired.

 

He sat up and looked at her. “Tadashi thought he knew what was best for me too. And look where that landed him.” He shot up out of his chair and ran upstairs, leaving a shell-shocked aunt in his wake.

 

She stared after him, and continued to look where he disappeared from view for a handful of minutes. She leaned back in her chair and put her head in her hands, tears spilling out slowly and quietly from her green eyes. What was she going to do? How were they going to get through this?

 

The phone ringing interrupted her thoughts.

 

Sighing, she got up and answered it. “Hello?”

 

“Miss Hamada? It’s Dr. Pat.”

 

“Oh, hello Dr. Pat.” Cass greeted, she glanced over to the stairs leading to her nephew, then to the stairs down to the garage.

 

“I wanted to make sure Hiro was alright.” Dr. Pat admitted.

 

Cass sighed again, making her way down the stairs. “He’s angry.” She told the therapist. “He didn’t mean to act that way today. He’s hurting and I don’t know how to make it better, or easier.”

 

“Yeah.” The therapist agreed. “That’s understandable though. Losing someone, especially someone as close as a brother is hard. And how close those two see and how Hiro felt before hand.” She paused for a second. “I probably would have acted like that as well.”

 

Cass bit her lip, Hiro never told her what he and Dr. Pat discussed during their sessions. “Huh?” Was all she could vocalize in her confusion and curiosity.

 

“Technically, you’re his guardian and he is a minor, you have a right to know.” Dr. Pat told her.

 

“He’s not doing anything illegal, right?” Cass immediately asked.

 

“No.” Dr. Pat replied.

 

Cass breathed a sigh of relief. “Is there a reason for his anxiety? Or is it just a random thing?”

 

Dr. Pat was silent for a moment. “It was Tadashi.” She quietly said.

 

“What?” Was the confused reply from the Hamada.

 

“We figured out that subconsciously, Hiro would worry about Tadashi; like he was afraid of something suddenly happening to his brother, something that would rip him away like what happened to their parents.” The therapist revealed.

 

“Oh.” Cass sat down on the last step of the staircase. “Oh.” She repeated. “I didn’t, he never-” She couldn’t even finish. That would explain why he didn’t want to continue the therapy sessions, why he acted the way he did earlier.

 

(---)

 

Hiro buried his head in his pillow, muffling any cries that managed to escape his lips.  His blankets were pulled tightly around himself as he curled up into as tiny of a ball as he could make himself.

 

“Hiro?” His aunt softly knocked on the wall as she walked up the stairs into the room.

 

“What?” Was all he said, peeking his face out of the fold of his blankets.

 

She could see her nephew’s tears from where she stood. A sad smile graced her face as she held a small bowl up. “You need to eat. I brought you some Honey Nut Cheerios.”

 

He sighed and sat up. “I’m not very hungry.”

 

She sat on the side of his bed. “You haven’t really ate.” She held the bowl to him. “Please?”

 

He shook his head, looking away.

 

Cass exhaled, defeated. She glanced toward Tadashi’s side of the room. The blinds on his windows were open, letting the sunlight into the room. He always liked the blinds open, never had them closed. She gave another sad smile to no one in particular.

 

Her green eyes looked back over to Hiro, who was once again buried in blankets and pillows. “He wouldn’t want you to act this way.” She said softly, treading lightly.

 

He didn’t say anything for a while, silently laying there as his aunt waited for him to say something. “I know.” He finally said. He sat up again and looked at her. “I’m sorry for how I acted.” He told her.

 

She pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry for making you go. I shouldn’t have pushed you like I did.” She sighed. “But I talked to Dr. Pat before I came up here, and told you her you wouldn’t be coming back for a while.”

 

He nodded.

 

“But,” Cass continued. “I asked if she would keep your name on her patients list, just in case _you_ decided to go back.”

 

“Maybe.” Brown eyes looked away. “I was worried that something would happen to him.” He spoke quietly, voice a whisper.

 

Cass didn’t say anything, but she kept her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Scared that something bad would happen to him like our parents.” He sniffled, trying to keep the tears from falling again. He turned a degree to cast a glance at the other side of the room. He didn’t continue after that, couldn’t continue telling her.

 

She pulled him into a hug, a tight hug that tried so hard to protect the young teen form anymore hurt and devastation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .   
>  Hey-o! You can find me on tumblr: luxwritestheavenue.tumblr.com
> 
> just saying, ya know?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated Chapter Five as well. I just added a little scene to the beginning. 
> 
> Slightly longer of a chapter, I'm not happy with it but oh well. 
> 
> Grammer is like a ghost. You can neither prove its existence or its non.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Hiro flopped down onto his beanbag chair, Megabot in hand, and sighed; a deep, grief filled sigh. Megabot’s red ‘angry’ face looked back at his own sad one.

 

A soft knock was the young teen’s only warning before his aunt walked in.

 

“Hey.” She said gently, worry was written on her face – as it had been for the last few weeks.

 

“Hey Aunt Cass.” He greeted back solemnly, hiding his former botfighting bot from view.

 

“Mrs. Matsuta’s in the café, wearing something completely inappropriate for an 80 year old.” She forced a small laugh, hoping to get a smile from her only-living nephew.

 

It didn’t work.

 

She sighed and placed a plate for fruit and a muffin on his desk, noticing he hadn’t touched the dinner she left for him from the night before. “You should come down.”

 

“Maybe later.” He looked down to the floor.

 

She gave a short nod and went to open up some of the blinds to let sunlight into the otherwise grim and dark room. She saw the SFIT letter sitting on the table. Untouched. Unopened. “Oh, the university called.” She remembered the phone call she had gotten the night prior. She traced a finger over the seal then turned back to Hiro. “They said its not to late to register.”

 

He shook his head. How could he think about going to the same school his brother died at? Why would the school even think it was okay to even try to get him to register? “I’ll think about it.” He said anyway, not wanting to put more of a damper on his aunt’s mood than was already there.

 

He missed the devastated look on her face as she left quietly, or how she hesitated and looked over her shoulder before walking down the stairs. He couldn’t see how worried she was about him, not because he wasn’t observant, but because he chose not to meet anyone’s eyes for the past few weeks; he refused to look up from the floor; refused to even leave his room. He hadn’t the chance to really observe anything other than the quietness of his room, the coldness and loneliness that seeped in despite the heat being on and the mountain of blankets he’d sleep under or curl up in.

 

He got up and closed the blinds Cass had opened, preferring to be in muted light; it matched the mood in his heart and the thoughts in his mind.

 

Sitting his bot on his desk, he woke up his computer and was greeted by the botfighting website. He hadn’t been to a bot fight since the night _Tadashi_ had taken him to the school, but he tried so hard to imagine that _Tadashi_ wasn’t gone, and if he had the site pulled up, he could pretend that at any moment, his brother was going to scold him. Just a little imagining before he cried himself to sleep at night.

 

He was also greeted by a little message icon in the bottom corner, which was weird because he never got messages. Curiously, he clicked on it.

 

“Hey Hiro.” All of _Tadashi’s_ friends, the ones Hiro met, gave little waves at the camera.

 

“We just wanted to check in a see how you’re doing.” Honey Lemon gave a _pity smile._ He turned the video off when Fred said he wanted to give Hiro a big hug.

 

Hiro pushed his computer chair away from the computer and got up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the acceptance letter he accidently sat Megabot next to. He looked at it for a moment before knocking the letter in the trashcan and picking up his bot. He failed to notice he knocked the bottom portion of the robot and it fell off, landing on his foot.

 

“Ow!” He dropped the other half in favor of rubbing the abused part of his body.

 

The sudden sound of something akin to an air mattress inflating sounded through the room. He turned to the sound, and he almost let out a sad whimper when he had to look over to _Tadashi’s_ side of the room, but cut himself off when he saw his brother’s robotics project -what did he call it? - staring at him. He watched as the marshmallow attempted to navigate its way out of the little area of the room, not that _Tadashi_ had been a messy person, but because the robot took up a fair amount of space, space that was not available over there. It knocked down a handful of books before it was finally standing before Hiro.

 

“Hello. I am Baymax.” The white vinyl robot began.

 

Right, that’s what _Tadashi_ had called him.

 

“Your personal healthcare companion.” Baymax continued.

 

“Oh.” Hiro softly said. “Bay-Baymax. I didn’t know that you were still active.” He stuttered quietly.

 

“I heard a sound of distress. What seems to be the trouble?” The project asked, it’s ‘eyes’ blinking at the teen.

 

“It’s nothing.” Hiro muttered. _‘Except my brother’s gone and I don’t want to do anything anymore because this is all my fault.’_ “I just hurt my foot a little. It’s nothing though.”

 

Baymax’s chest lit up, displaying the same cartoon expressions from happy to in pain as Hiro had seen the first time _Tadashi_ showed Baymax to him. “On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your pain?”

 

“None.” Hiro huffed. “It’s nothing.”

 

Somehow, _somehow_ , he managed to fall and get wedged in between his bed and the dresser, Baymax standing over him saying he’s fallen and asking repeatedly ‘How would you rate your pain?’ as various objects managed to fall on top of Hiro.

 

“I don’t need to cry.” _I’ve done enough of that._

 

“Crying is a natural response to pain.”

 

“I’m not crying.” _I want to though, so don’t remind me._

“I will scan you now.”

 

“Don’t scan me.”

 

“Scan complete.”

 

“Unbelievable.”

 

“I have detected no physical injury. However you seem to be experiencing mood swings and emotional instability-”

 

_I’m grieving! Of course I’m emotionally unstable!_

“My diagnosis: puberty.” Baymax stated.

 

“Whoa! What?” Hiro slightly blushed. “Okay, time to shrink now!” He tried to distract himself by picking up the knocked over books, hesitating a little when he realized _Tadashi_ was the last to touch these books.

 

“You should be experiencing a growth of body hair. Especially on your face, chest armpits and-”

 

“OKAY!” Hiro jumped, forgetting the books. “Back in your case you go!” He pushed the robot into the case he dragged from beside _Tadashi’s_ bed. He grabbed Baymax’s arm and attempted to pull the robot in the charging case.

 

“You may also experience strange and new urges.” Baymax continued, oblivious to Hiro’s growing embarrassment.

 

“Let’s get you back in your case!” The boy jumped on top of the robot and tried to stuff the project away.

 

“I can not deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care.” Baymax reminded him.

 

“I am satisfied with my – Whoa!” Hiro slipped off of Baymax and landed on the floor.

 

That’s when he found the lone Microbot in his hoodie pocket; the same hoodie he had been wearing _that_ _night_ and promptly stuffed under his bed, refusing to ever look at it again.  After putting the Microbot in a petri dish, he sat down in his chair to fix Megabot. He gave not even a fourth of his attention to _Tadashi’s_ robot, and gave an automatic, sarcastic response when Baymax was telling him something.

 

Then the next thing his knows, he’s chasing after Baymax through the streets of San Fransokyo. All he could think about when he was running after the robot was that he couldn’t lose the last thing from _Tadashi_ ; he couldn’t lose what his brother had worked on for who knows how long; he couldn’t lose what his brother had hoped would help change the world.

 

When Hiro finally caught up with the walking marshmallow, they ending up in front of an old, worn down warehouse.

 

“Baymax!” Hiro huffed, out of breath. “You can’t just run off like that!”

 

“I have found where your tiny robot wants to go.” The project held the dish to Hiro, who started to explain that the Microbot was broken and wasn’t trying to go anywhere, but noticed that it seemed like it _was_ trying to go somewhere.

 

Soon the duo found themselves breaking into the rundown, supposedly empty building.

 

Hiro crept down the stairs as Baymax inflated himself after he got in the window. Hiro was silent, the only sound coming form him was the occasional squeak of his sneaker and the Microbot ramming into the side of the glass container. He was just about to walk around the corner of something when he saw frosted glass-like office illuminated at the other side of the warehouse.

 

He stuffed the dish into his hoodie pocket and grabbed the closest thing to him that he could use in the event that he needed to defend himself – a broom. He was on red alert as he slowly tiptoed his way to the office thing, broom held in a defensive position over his shoulder.

 

When he got up to the glass, he could barely make out the mostly blurry figures of robotic arms working on something automatically, like they were factoring something; which brought his attention to a tinking sound coming from the side of the workspace. He inched closer to the sound and peeked around the corner. He gasped when he saw _his Microbots_ on the conveyor belt. He followed with his eyes to see them being emptied into a container, then saw just how _many_ containers there were sitting there.

 

His first thought was that ‘ _Krei must be behind this!_ ’ But his second thought made him freeze. _The fire wasn't an accident._

And he would have dwelled on that revelation if not for the Microbot coming alive and chasing him and Baymax out of the building and down the street.

 

Hiro finally had to stop running because he couldn’t feel his body anymore; everything was numb from the second that thought had popped into his head.

 

He put a hand to his chest and the other against a lamp post he was standing beside, he tried to keep himself upright, but his whole world just came to another halt. What he thought an hour ago, was not the same now. Someone, _probably Krei_ , had stolen his Microbots, and his transmitter and used the fire to cover their tracks.

 

 _Tadashi_ didn’t just die in the fire.

 

He was murdered.

 

Whether the person, _still probably Krei_ , meant to or not, _Tadashi_ was in the building when it exploded. Tadashi was in the building when he died. The fire that whoever started, killed his brother, murdered his brother.

 

He didn’t realize he was gasping for breath until Baymax’s voice broke through his thoughts.

 

“You seem to be having a panic attack.” Baymax stated.

 

“Yeah!” Hiro snapped weakly. “I know!”

 

“May I administer a hug? Hugs can be beneficial in the process of calming down.” Baymax held his arms out and took a shuffled step closer to the panicking teen.

 

“No.” Hiro held out his hand to stop the robot from advancing toward him any further. “Don’t touch.” He lowered himself onto the sidewalk as he tried to slow his breathing and his heart as it beat faster than a hummingbird flies.

 

His whole body began to tremble as he sat there with the repeated thoughts that this wasn’t an accident, it was arson and larceny.

 

And _murder_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr: luxwritestheavenue


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Can't believe it's already Chapter Fourteen.... This was supposed to be a oneshot! How did this happen?? 
> 
> So sorry this took a little longer than usual. Not too much outside of canon happens here but.... oh well. its important to the plot. And Hiro jut can't have a secret all his own anymore. 
> 
> Grammar and spelling do not exist on the planet I'm from.

**Chapter Fourteen**

“Tadashi.”

It was a simple, quiet statement that came from Baymax after he recharged. How Hiro managed to sneak a seemingly drunk but almost battery dead robot past his aunt after their little illegal trespassing and attempting to tell the police about a man in a kabuki mask adventure, Hiro will never know.

The teen sat up, his heart was still pounding quite ferociously in his chest from his attack earlier, he didn’t want to think about his brother at the moment. “What?”

“Tadashi.” Baymax repeated, looking towards Tadashi’s side of the room.

Hiro sadly looked over to the dark side of the room. He could just make out the hat on his brother’s made bed. “Tadashi’s gone.” He muttered to the robot who was still in the charging station. Hiro got up and slowly trekked his way over to the partition.

“When will he return?” Baymax continued, oblivious to Hiro’s deepening sadness.

“He’s-” The young Hamada paused as he grabbed the wood edge of the divider; he glanced once more at the hat. “He’s dead, Baymax.” The click of the latch resounded through the room. “He’s not coming back.” He turned to walk back to his bed, wanting nothing more than to curl up in it, just as he has for the past number of weeks.

Baymax blinked and tilted his head to physically display his confusion. “Tadashi was in excellent health; with proper diet and exercise, he should have lived a long life.”

“Yeah.” Hiro shrugged and flopped face first on his bed. “Should have.” He mumbled into his mattress. He was quiet for a few minutes before lifting himself up slightly to turn and look at his late brother’s project. “There was a fire.” He sighed and looked away. “He didn’t make it out.” He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling.

“Tadashi is here.” The robotic voice reached his ears and Hiro fumed.

“No he’s not!” He tried so hard to yell, but it came out as a broken whimper. He ran his hands over his face to wipe a few stray tears out of his eyes. “They say he’s not gone, as long as we remember him. But memories, good or bad, can just bring more pain.” He felt for the Microbot in his pocket. “It still hurts.” He muttered, bringing the tiny robot out of his pocket.

“I sense no evidence of a physical injury.” Baymax commented.

“Different kind of hurt.” He turned away from the college project to face the wall.  He could hear the soft thuds of vinyl on the floor.

“You are my patient,” Baymax began. “I would like to help.”

“You can’t fix this one buddy.” Hiro wrapped his arms around himself. He just wanted Baymax to be quiet and deactivate so he could sulk and seethe about this whole thing in peace.

A soft dinging reached his ears, Hiro sat up and looked over to where Baymax was, but was no longer there. Instead the soft robotics project was standing next to one of Hiro’s computers, with a plastic hand on the monitor and pictures and text flashing across the screen and Baymax’s projector. “Uh, what are you doing?”

Baymax looked over to Hiro. “I am downloading a database on personal loss.” A few ticked by as more images flashed on the screens. “Database downloaded. Treatment includes contacting family and loved ones.” Pictures of Tadashi’s friends flashed on Baymax’s chest.

“No!” Hiro jumped up. “No, I don’t need anyone.” But Tadashi.

“Friends contacted.” Baymax declared.

“Unbelievable.” Brown eyes rolled in annoyance as he turned from Baymax. He was about to take a step toward his desk chair when he was suddenly enveloped in a hug from the vinyl robot. “Now what are you doing?”

“Other forms of treatment include compassion and physical reassurance.” Baymax started patting his head. “There, there.”

Hiro chuckled, and a genuine smile, albeit a small smile, danced across his young face. “Thanks Baymax.”

(---)

“I have some concerns.” Baymax voiced his thoughts as he stood in front of a giddy looking Hiro, while wearing armor Hiro made. “This armor may undermine my huggable design.”

Hiro nodded, leaning his elbows against his legs. “That’s kinda the idea, buddy.”

“Download complete.” A generic robotic voice announced. Hiro rolled his chair over to one of the computers in the garage-turned-lab. He pulled a card-chip, one that looked similar to Baymax’s chip but red, out of the computer. He smiled to himself as he drew the international symbol for ‘fatal’ on one side. He turned toward the armored robot and opened the access port. Hiro stopped for a second when he saw Tadashi’s chip slide out. Fleeting thoughts about how Tadashi didn’t create Baymax to act like this, to be used like Hiro was going to use him as, crossed his mind. But he shook it off when he remembered that someone, he still thinks it was Krei, started that fire and stole the Microbots. On purpose. Making Tadashi’s death a murder.

After a trial run of Baymax using his new Karate moves, after a conversation about how Baymax failed ‘to see how Karate makes me a better healthcare companion’, a quick snack of gummy bears, and a fist bump lesson, the duo snuck out to return to the warehouse.

Since the police weren’t going to look into it, and investigate the SFIT fire further, Hiro would do it for them.

The two failed to notice that they were being followed.

(---)

Hiro’s spirit was crushed when they got to the old building and found out that the Kabuki masked man had already hightailed and cleared out of there.

“We’re too late.” He mumbled as he looked around. That’s when he noticed the soft ‘pinging’ sound and slight repetitive tugs on his jacket pocket. He reached his hand in and pulled out the petri dish that held the Microbot. It kept hitting the side of the container like how it did earlier.

“Your tiny robot is trying to go somewhere.” Baymax stated for the second time.

Hiro looked in the direction the Microbot was trying to go. “Come on.” He told Baymax, before he started running where the Microbot was leading.  He didn’t pay attention to anything other than the last piece of his showcase project, and he almost ran right into the bay. Had Baymax not have grabbed his hood, just like how Tadashi would grab his hood, he would have had taken a midnight swim.

Hiro didn’t listen to whatever Baymax was saying as he felt himself being pulled back a few feet from the edge of the docks, he was too busy noticing how much more violent the Microbot slammed itself against the side. He should kept a better hold on the top, for the piece of technology hit it just right, and knocked the cover off and was able to zoom away to the other Microbots.

The Hamada didn’t say anything as he looked out onto the foggy bay, he could swear he saw something. He squinted and looked a littler harder, eyes having to adjust to the pitch black. But he saw it.

Hiro could see the same Kabuki masked man using the Microbots to cross the body of water, right towards them.

“Come on!” His heart pounded as he lead Baymax and himself away from the edge of the dock to behind some shipping crates. From behind the corner of a crate, he watched the masked man raise himself on to the concrete using the invention that Hiro had intended to help build and transport things. The man raised himself up a little higher and glanced around, as if looking for something. Or someone. Hiro didn’t think the man had spotted them, but of course, they had been under a light; but all thoughts of them being caught was shot down when the man turned back to the water and with a wave of his hand, had the Microbots bring into view a piece of a machine. What machine, Hiro didn’t know, but by the way the man was acting, it must have been pretty important, and illegal.

Hiro noticed the same symbol he saw in passing when he was running out of the warehouse with Baymax when they were being chased. A red bird on a red circle.

Hiro backed up, pushing his armored covered robot with him.

“You’re heart rate is increasing.” The robot commented.

The teen turned toward his companion, trying to ignore the signs of an anxiety attack as well as adrenaline creeping into his chest. “Okay, Baymax, time to use your upgrades.” He motioned for Baymax to wait a second while Hiro watched for the perfect time to strike.

Until a light was shone on the two.

Hiro gasped almost violently as he turned to face the light, hoping that the masked man didn’t have accomplices that had just caught them.  He could tell the light was actually a pair of headlights from a van.

As quick as the lights appeared, they were turned off and four doors opened.

“Hiro?” the four voices asked at the same time.

“No, no!” Hiro jumped and looked over his shoulder. “You guys have to get out of here!” He hissed as he turned back to face them.

“Dude?” Wasabi asked as the group approached the young teen. “What are you doing out here? Its late!”

“Oh, uh, nothing.” Hiro’s face and actions would have given away the fact he was lying, if the cracking in his voice hadn’t done so already. “Just out for a walk.” He gave a guilty smile. “It helps my ‘pubescent mood swings’.” The faux smile dropped in favour of a frown.

The group gave him a look.

“Hiro, you can’t push us away.” Honey Lemon quietly said after a beat of silence. “We’re here for you, we want to help you.” She gently placed a hand on his shoudler, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Those who have suffered a loose require support from support from friends and loved ones.” Baymax added in his robotic tone.

“Okay, but I-” Hiro started.

“They can also offer support through your panic attacks.” The robot blurted.

“Baymax!” Hiro jumped. He just can’t seem to have his little secret a secret. It just always comes to light somehow, and not by his choice. “I can handle those on my own.” He practically growled.

“You don’t have to go through those alone.” Gogo piped up from beside Wasabi.

“I have bigger things on my mind right now than panic attacks.” The Hamada sighed.

“Holy Mother of Megazon!” Fred suddenly exclaimed, looking up and over everyone’s head.

The grinding of something against metal sounded through the air as they all looked to where Fred was staring.

Mister Kabuki found them.

****  



	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I ever mentioned that I really love all the comments and kudos and bookmarks you guys leave and whatnot? Because I really appreciate it. :)

**Chapter Fifteen**

In a whirlwind of screaming, running, crazy speed driving, and an impromptu swimming session, the gang found themselves following Fred through the streets of San Fransokyo, he claimed he knew where they would be safe for the time being.

 

“Fred.” Hiro’s voice cracked when he spoke alarmed at the fact that Fred was marching up the sidewalk to a very expensive and important looking house like he owned the place. “Fred, where are you going?”

 

The fan boy gave them a confused look over his shoulder before he smiled. “Oh, welcome to _mi casa_!” He threw his arms out in a grand gesture. “That’s French for _front door_.”

 

Hiro heard Honey Lemon sigh. “It’s really not.”

 

“Listen, nitwit,” Gogo snapped. “A lunatic in a mask just tried to kill us. We are soaked and cold and don’t have time for your-”

 

Someone opening the front door cut the short girl off.

 

An older man in a suit stepped out and stood beside Fred. “Welcome home, Master Fredrick.”

 

Fred turned toward the man. “Heathcliff! My man!” He gave Heathcliff a fist bump. “Come on in guys.” He addressed his group of friends who stood dumbfounded at the gate.

 

“This is where you live?” Honey asked looking around at the expensive décor and art work scattered on the walls.

 

“I thought you lived under a bridge.” Gogo commented as they walked through the foyer.

 

“Technically, it’s my parents.” Fred told them, leading them down a hallway. “They’re away on the family island.” His eyes lit up. “We should go there sometime! It would be so fun!” He clapped his hands when they stopped at a double door, the sound signaling for them to slide open.

 

The group paused in the doorway.

 

Superhero props, and miniature replicas decorated the young man’s room, action figures sat on shelves, superhero outfits were posed in glass containers, and bookshelves upon bookshelves were filled with comic books after comic books.

 

Wasabi was horrified as he looked at a painting of an unrealistically muscled man on a horse with Fred’s head painted on it. “If I weren’t just attacked by a man in a kabuki mask, this might have been the weirdest thing I’ve seen today.” He shuddered. “My brain hates my eyes for seeing this.”

 

Hiro tuned the rest of whatever was being said out as he grabbed a piece of stationary from Fred’s desk and a pen. Crudely, he started sketching out what he saw on the piece of machine and when he was in the warehouse.

 

Baymax came up behind him. “Your body temperature is still low.” He announced.

 

“Huh? Oh yeah.” The young teen absently answered as he tried to get the drawing as close to what he remembered as possible. He stopped when the robot pressed itself against his back. A comforting warmth came from the robotics project. Soon the entire gang was leaning up against the vinyl health care companion.

 

“It’s like spooning a warm marshmallow.” Fred sighed as he pressed his face against the side of the robot.

 

The Hamada rolled his eyes and finished his drawing. “Does this look familiar to any of you?” He held it up so the others could see.

 

“Yes!” Fred shouted. “It’s a bird!”

 

“No.” Shaggy black hair bounced as Hiro shook his head. “No. This symbol was on the piece of what ever the masked man was caring. And I saw the same thing on a wall in a ware house yesterday.”

 

“What were you doing in a warehouse?” Honey asked.

 

Hiro fell quiet for a moment, debating on whether or not to actually tell them and ask for their help. They _could_ help him, they _could_ make catching the masked man easier. But they also _could_ make it harder, they _could_ slow him down or try to talk him out of it and let the police handle it.

 

“Well,” He began.

 

“We jumped out a window!” Baymax cut in.

 

“Baymax!”

 

“What?!”

 

“Apprehending the man in the mask will improve Hiro’s emotional state.” Baymax continued.

 

“Wait! _Apprehend_ him?” Gogo scoffed. “We don’t even know who he is!”

 

Fred popped up from behind the robot. “I have a theory.”

 

Comic books were handed to the group.

 

“Dr. Slaughter M.D.?”

 

“Actually, millionaire web designer Malcolm Chezzletick.”

 

“The Annihilator?” 

 

“Behind the mask? Industrialist Reed Axeworthy.”

 

“Baron Von Destruct- Get to the point!”

 

Fred jumped in front of them. “The man behind the mask, the man who attacked us has got to be-” He clicked a button and a very familiar face popped up on the TV screen in front of them. “Alistair Krei.”

 

“What?” Honey asked, confusion written all over her face.

 

“Think about it.” Hiro started, he stood to stand next to the comic book enthusiast. “Krei wanted my Microbots. But at the same time Callaghan came up and offered entrance into the school. So I said no to Krei. And he tried to walk off with one of the Microbots.” Hiro nodded as he continued. “It wouldn't be hard for an intelligent man like Krei to either reverse engineer it, or pay someone to do it for him.”

 

“Rules don't apply to a man like Krei.” Fred added.

 

“I don’t think so.” Wasabi cut in. “He’s way to high profile.”

 

Gogo stared at the picture for a moment. “But it also wouldn't be hard for him to pay someone to attempt to steal the Microbots.” The statement surprised everyone.

 

“But, okay.” Honey started. “But what if it _isn’t_ Krei.” She questioned, looking at everyone. When no one said anything she continued. “Who else could it be then?”

 

Everyone shrugged.

 

“But I do think it was him.” Hiro sighed as he sat back down on the edge of the couch’s armrest. “Baymax and I followed the one Microbot, the one Krei originally tried to walk away with. I had found it in my hoody’s pocket and it acted like it was trying to go somewhere, like it was trying to link up with the others. I thought it was broken, but we followed it and it led us to this warehouse, one of the run-down ones by the docks.” He began retelling the tale of the day prior, the adventure him and Baymax had been on.

 

“So, you think that-” Honey tried to say something, but couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.

 

“That the fire was set.” Hiro sadly nodded. “Purposely.”

 

They fell quiet for a moment, trying to get the fact that their best friend was indirectly murdered in a theft and arson debacle.

 

“But how do we find Krei, assuming that he _did_ do this, how do we get him to admit it?”  Honey quietly questioned.

 

“And if it isn’t Krei, how do we find out who _really_ did do this?” Gogo countered.

 

Wasabi nodded in agreement. “We don’t know anything about this guy.”

 

Baymax suddenly spoke up. “His blood type is AB negative. And his cholesterol levels are-”

 

“Wait!” Hiro ran over to the robot. “You- Baymax you scanned him?” He was in disbelief. Why hadn’t they even thought that Baymax might have scanned him? Or at least have thought to use the AI in someway to help disclose his identity.

 

A picture of the masked man showed on the project’s projector. “I am programmed to assess everyone’s healthcare needs.” Baymax replied as he pulled up all the health data he concluded on the man.

 

“Yes!” The Hamada jumped up in sudden excitement. “I can- we can use this! We can use this to find him!” He turned back to the rest as Gogo started talking.

 

“You would have to scan everyone in San Fransokyo.” She rolled her eyes to mask the sudden hope that filled her. “And that could take forever.”

 

“No, no, no.” Hiro shook his head as he thought. “Just look for a new angle.” He muttered to himself. He looked around as he thought and spotted Fred’s action figures on a shelf, superheroes lined the space. One with a particularly large light up face caught his attention. The light almost looked like an old scanner toy he had as a child. That’s it! “I’ll modify the scanner.” He said out loud. “We’ll scan the whole city at the same time.” He placed the figure back where it was then turned to face everyone again. “We’ll upgrade Baymax’s sensor and he’ll be able to scan more people at once.” He smiled to himself at the thought of potentially getting his brother’s _murderer_.

 

Then a few particular action figures’ color caught Hiro’s attention. They figures were behind a glass door and he could see his friends’ reflections in it. Right where the action figures were.

 

“Actually,” He began with an even bigger smile. “Upgrade all of you.”

 

“What?” The confusion on Wasabi’s face was not missed as he stared at the teen, thinking the poor boy had finally lost it.

 

Baymax padded over to the couch. “People who have lost someone require support from friends and loved ones.” He repeated for the third time that day.

 

Fred bounced his leg up and down as he started to come to a conclusion of what the Hamada was thinking. “I like where this is heading.” He leaned forward, his eyes almost glowing in excitement.

 

“What?” Wasabi gave Fred a look. “Go up against that guy? We can’t do that. We’re not trained, we’re not professionals. We’re nerds.”

 

Honey reached for Hiro’s hand as he paced by her. “Hiro, we want to help, but-” She paused when she saw the look on the fourteen year old’s face. “We’re just us. We can’t go up against that guy.”

 

Hiro shook his head, not in disappointment that they weren’t all for his unvoiced plan, but disagreeing with her and Wasabi’s statements. “No. We can be way more.” He motioned to a mural of a group of superheroes.

 

Gogo sighed. She knew where this was leading. If the group said they weren’t going to help, and Hiro went anyway and got hurt, Tadashi would most likely come back and violently haunt them to death themselves. “Hiro,” She stood up. “Tadashi Hamada was our best friend.” She stopped, looking their late best friend’s little brother in the eye. “We’re in.”

 

Fred hopped up. “Guys!” He smiled, wrapping an arm around Hiro’s shoulders as they all turned to look at the mural. “Do you feel that? Our origin story is beginning!” He bounced a little on the couch. “WE’RE GOING TO BE SUPERHEROES!”

 

(---)

 

“I need some air.” Hiro stated as he pushed himself up off the couch. They had decided, after checking with Hiro’s aunt, that they all were going to stay at Fred’s for the night.

 

The teen felt his chest tighten as they were talking about possible suits and powers and the bits and pieces of what they’re going to need in order to do this. He had to excuse himself before the anxiety worsened in front of them.

 

He managed to find himself on the back patio. He rushed to closed the door behind him as his heart began racing. It seemed lately, instead of his anxiety about _Tadashi’s safety_ , it moved to worrying about _Tadashi’s Justice_. His brother needed to be able to rest in piece. Callaghan too, since the poor man was caught in the fire as well.

 

Hiro sat on one of the lounge chairs that were placed on the deck. Tears welled up in his eyes as thoughts were passed around in his head; between worrying about who would do this, who would steal his Microbots, all the action that’s happened in the last two days – they were finally catching up to him.

 

His brother was murdered. The Microbots were stolen. The fire was purposely set. A man in a Kabuki mask tried to kill them. That painting of Fred wielding a sword on a horse. Deciding that they were going to be superheroes. All those thoughts and memories played back in his mind, vividly, as his breathing became labored. 

 

The back door cracked opened as someone knocked on it, letting him know they were coming out.

 

“Hiro?” It was Gogo. “Hiro, are you alright?”

 

He quickly debated on trying to tell her that ‘yeah he was fine she didn’t need to worry’ but decided against it. He shook his head.

 

He heard her shut the door and walk closer. “May I sit?”

 

He nodded.

 

“You shouldn’t be alone during your anxiety attacks.” She murmured to him. She didn’t touch him; she gave him a good foot of space between the two of them.

 

He didn’t say anything; he just pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his head on his knees.

 

“Would you like some orange juice?” She questioned gently.

 

“No thank you.” He almost wheezed as he spoke.

 

She fell quiet for a moment. She looked around the yard from what she could see in the back patio’s lights. She stood when she noticed a lilac bush in the farthest corner. She smiled softly as she walked towards it. She plucked the biggest bunch in her sight and took it back to the boy trying to breath and calm himself.

 

“Here.” She quietly handed him the twig with the little purple flowers.

 

He looked up, not meeting her eyes and reached for the flowers.

 

She sat back down, this time just a smidge closer, trying to let him know she was here and wasn’t leaving without saying so. “Lilacs helped me through my attacks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Lilacs help me through my anxiety attacks. They smell soooooooo good!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this onsehot-turned-story all planned out, it was supposed to be only 14 chapters... Well look how that turned out, haha!   
> This one's on the shorter side, sorry. Its just a little Hiro and Gogo bonding moment. And to answer a review I had gotten on FF (yes this is cross posted there as well), this story doesn't have any romance in it. If you see it that way, then you can pretend it's supposed to be there, but I didn't mean for it to come across as that.   
> Grammar is something I should start paying attention to.

**Chapter Sixteen**

Brown eyes looked at the young adult in front of him. “You have them too?” Hiro asked as he glanced back to the flower in his hand. He could smell the sweet aroma of the Lilacs without even bringing it close to his face.

 

Gogo nodded. “Yeah. I’ve had them since I was little.” She turned her body so she was sitting on one of her legs, facing him. “Don’t remember when they started, just knew that I one day had them.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could think to say, conversations about anxiety was obviously not his strong point; especially if it was someone else’s anxiety.

 

She waved her hand as if to bat those words away. “It’s fine. They’re manageable now.”

She let a silence wash over them. She could hear her younger friend’s irregular breathing, and watched as he fought the, no doubt, vicious battle of thoughts and feelings in his mind.

 

“Would you like to talk about it?” She asked. “Or talk about something in general?” She kept her voice gentle and quiet.

 

She knew this tune all too well, keeping stress and feelings hidden and all to yourself is a dangerous song to play. She used to believe that she had to be stoic and guarded when it came to what went on in her mind. But after one of too many breakdowns, she got convinced to talk to someone. She didn’t want to watch Hiro, a bright young boy with an equally bright future ahead, face the same things she had to endure.

 

He didn’t answer her, instead choosing to stay quiet with his thoughts.

 

She let out a quiet sigh, but respected his peace; he’d break it when he was ready.

 

It took a good fifteen minutes.

 

He sniffled and tried to keep his voice even. “How do you deal with it?” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to move from his curled up position yet.

 

A soft smiled danced on her face. “Well, a combination of things, depending on what caused the anxiety. A person around me? I simply just walk out of the room. A situation? I take a step back and look at it from the side and try to figure out if there is something else I could do to make the situation better. And if its just random anxiety, I try to remember if I had any caffeine or chocolate and a few other things that wouldn’t apply to you.” She explained. “And based on what I figure out with those questions, I go and do something. A nice walk or a little exercise, sometimes I’ll watch a show or play a brain game.” She gave a little tap to the boy’s head. “Something that gets your mind off of what’s going on up in it and make it concentrate on something else.” She leaned back so she was resting her upper body weight on a hand. “Tea and smelling flowers can help too.” She motioned to the Lilac stem in his hand. “And just between you and I, sometimes I find colouring in a colouring book to be relaxing during a stressful, anxiety-filled time.”

 

Hiro gave a small chuckle.

 

“Of course,” She continued, tilting her head to see his face better. “Talking it out helps the most.”

 

The smile dropped from his face. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to tell her about it. If he talked about this one, he’d have to explain the original source. Hiro didn’t think he was strong enough to talk about that right now.

 

Or ever, if he was being honest with himself.

 

She placed her hand so lightly on his shoulder, he couldn’t actually figure out if she was touching him or not. “But you don’t have too. I’ve just found that extremely helpful.”

 

He uncurled himself, turned to face her in the chair and slumped back against the cushions of the chair behind him. “It’s hard to do that.” He muttered.

 

Gogo tilted her head in a questioning way.

 

“I don’t like talking about them.” The young Hamada continued. “I can never find the right words.”

 

“Just takes some practice.” She encouraged.

 

He fell quiet. Hiro really did want to talk, and for some reason, Gogo seemed like the perfect person to talk to. Whether that was because she’s been where he was or because he’s just in a vulnerable position at the moment, he wasn’t sure. “I’d saw a therapist for a few months.” His breath hitched as memories of _Tadashi_ taking him to a few of his sessions flashed through his mind. “But I’ve quit going. I kinda yelled at the doctor the last time I went.” He hesitated on continuing. “I just feel so overwhelmed with everything.”

 

She nodded in genuine understanding.

 

“What I thought just a few days about has been turned topsy-turvy.” He waved his hands in a confused manner. “And if I think about them too long, I can’t breathe.” He avoided her eyes now. “I had always been afraid of losing _Tadashi_. And now that I have and to find out its wasn’t necessarily by accident-” his breath hitched again as he started to think about it all over again.

 

Gogo didn’t know how to respond to that. She watched only for a second as tears began to spill from his young brown eyes before she reached over and pulled him into a hug. She can tell the difference between one having an attack, and one actually crying out of sadness. “Come here.” She mumbled, trying to keep her voice from wavering. She may seem stoic on a daily basis, but she couldn’t stand to see people, especially kids, cry.

 

Hiro leaned into her hold, but tried as hard as he could to keep from crying completely. He hated it when he cried; it made him feel weak and childish.

 

“You don’t have to keep this all to yourself.” She spoke in a voice soft enough to rival a whisper. She rubbed his back when he finally let out a sob.

 

“It’s not fair.” The fourteen year old whimpered into her shoulder.

 

She nodded. “I know.”

 

He wiped at his eyes as he pulled away from young woman’s comforting embrace. “I hate walking into our room and seeing his side empty.” He sniffled. He kept wanting to say, to yell, to cry that this was all his fault. He wanted to tell her to quit comforting him, he got _Tadashi_ _murdered_.

 

“I can’t begin to understand how you feel about everything,” Gogo started, stooping down so she could look at his face. “But you shouldn’t go through this alone, Hiro.” Her hand was on his shoulder again, giving it a little squeeze.

 

No matter how many times he wiped at his eyes, the tears continued to fall down his cheeks. “It’s hard.” He chocked out as he tried to take in a breath and talk at the same time.  He found himself in Gogo’s arms again, wrapped in a warm, comforting hug that surprised the Hamada.

 

Hiro whimpered into her shoulder, “I just want my brother back.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anything witty to say here.... not even a comment about my nonexistent grammar, as I normally do. Oh well...  
> Don't own it.

**Chapter Seventeen**

“The neurotransmitter must be in the mask.” Hiro hypothesized as he made a model of the mask and showed the fact that it indeed could hold and hide the Microbots’ controlling device.

 

“So, how do you suppose we get it?” Wasabi questioned as he leaned up against the desk in Hiro’s makeshift lab.

 

“Simple.” The Fourteen year old turned to his newly established friends. “We make super suits.”

 

It didn’t take as long as they had thought it would take to build everything for all their suits. Just a little under two weeks.

 

Honey’s suit held a combination of purple and pinks in colors and they had made a special purse-like container for all her chemicals. The bag had a special keypad where she could plug in different chemical equations and it would give her the solution in a little ball, and when she threw it, the chemical would react.

 

Gogo’s suit was yellow and black, and Hiro had taken the elctro-magnetic suspension idea from her bike project she had been working on, and used it on her suit. When she tried it out, it took her a few minutes to gain her balance, she had thought it would be easier than it had been, thinking it’d feel like she was rollerblading; she was slightly wrong about that. When she stumbled and fell, she refused to accept Hiro’s hand in helping her up, she had just miscalculated what I’d feel like, she would give it another try before accepting help.

 

Next was Fred’s suit. If Hiro was being honest with himself, he’d say Fred’s suit was both the coolest and the slightly more challenging one to make. For one, the young adult wanted it to be shaped like a monster-dragon-kaiju mix. And two, Fred wanted it to breathe fire. And Hiro had to push a lot of anxiety back, when they tested the fire portion out before adding it to the suit. But they managed, and it was pretty cool. It was blue-gradient with orange down the middle’s front, and three faux-eyes and a mouth. Beside from fire breathing, Fred’s suit was able to ‘super bounce’ high into the air.

 

Wasabi’s super suit was a teal and black combination of colors. The two science engineers used Wasabi’s laser technology and added it into Wasabi’s suit, the laser would pop out when he flicked his hands and would come out over his hands, that way, he’d have more control over them. He almost lasered Hiro’s hand when they went to give each other a high-five after the initial test run.

 

Hiro worked on Baymax’s suit the longest, adding as much as he could, as much as he thought would be helpful and beneficial to them including the ability to fly, the magnets on his back so Hiro could ride on his back during flights.  It took the boy a while to fit Baymax into his new red and purple armor, but when he did, it fit the robot better than the original green ‘carbon fiber underpants’ as Gogo had commented.

 

Last was his suit. He didn’t do much with his matching purple suit, just put magnets in his gloves and knee guards so he could hold onto Baymax. Nothing too special.

 

When Hiro went out for a test flight, he had caught their reflection in a skyscraper window, and for a second he saw that last botfight he had been too, the one where _Tadashi_ and him had practically flown over Yama and his three friends, and Hiro had seen their reflection as they jumped the crates. He was brought back into the moment when they flew away from the reflective glass.

 

They were sitting on a blimp when Hiro had _Tadashi’s_ project when Hiro decided it was time to test out Baymax’s new scanner.

 

“Fire up that super sensor.” Hiro gestured to the city below them.

 

Baymax stood up and started scanning the entire city in just a few sweeps. “One thousand percent increase in range.” The robot stated as different medical profiles popped up with every new person he managed to scan. “I have found a match.” He pointed to the island off the coast of the city.

 

Half an hour later, Baymax was flying the team over to the island. While everyone, but Wasabi who complained of heights, admired the view, Hiro’s heart pounded in his chest. He was so close to potentially confronting his late brother’s killer.

 

 _Tadashi_ was so close to getting justice, and Hiro was actually excited about it.

 

The young teen was always excited for something his brother did, or got; and while right now it was kind of morbid to be excited about figuring this out so his dead brother could rest in peace, Hiro was still happy about it.

 

“Quarantine?” Wasabi started to whine and complain. “Do you know what that means?”

 

Hiro ignored the rest of the conversation, too busy trying to figure out how they were going to get into the building that had been closed off.

 

The group chooses to not mention the fact that while they were trying to get into the closed off building, they were startled by a bird landing behind them. They also refuse to acknowledge that they went a little crazy throwing their weapons at the poor little bird.

 

(---)

 

This wasn’t how unmasking _Tadashi’s_ killer was supposed to go. They found the masked man after they had found a video of some kind of test run of a project called ‘Silent Sparrow’ that Krei was running; it had the same symbol on it that Hiro had seen on the machine part Mister Kabuki had that night at the docks. They fought against the Masked Man but were easily over-powered, but somehow Hiro had managed to get the mask.

 

“It’s over.” Hiro stood form his fallen position from when him and the man had tumbled down a small thing of stairs. “Krei.” He added the last point to show that they already had it figured out.

 

But it turns out; they didn’t have anything figured out at all.

 

“Pro-” Hiro stuttered in disbelief. “Professor Callaghan?”

 

The team standing at the railing from where Hiro and Callaghan had fallen from, open-mouthed. This wasn’t what they were expecting, in fact, this was on the other end of the spectrum.

 

“The explosion,” Hiro muttered to himself, “but you died.” His eyes were almost pleading, as he looked at his brother’s former college professor, the same professor his brother had run in to save, but thought was dead. A very small, hidden percentage of Hiro’s still growing mind, hoped that maybe Tadashi had survived as well.

 

“No.” The believed-to-be-dead professor finally spoke. “I had your Microbots. I used them to protect myself from the fire.”

 

 _‘To protect myself’_ those words echoed in the young Hamada’s mind. And that small percentage of hope quickly started to dwindle.

 

“But, Ta-” Hiro’s breath hitched when he tried to say his brother’s name. “Tadashi.” He took another breath. “You just let him die.”

 

“Give. Me. The. Mask.” Callaghan took a step toward the teen, completely avoiding the words his former student’s kid brother stuttered out.

 

Brown eyes started to darken as the boy straighten up. “He went in there to save you.” He tried his hardest to growl, but the hurt in his voice over-powered the emotion.

 

“That was _his_ mistake!”

 

Hiro saw red.

 

Baymax, sensing Hiro’s sudden emotional fluctuation, landed behind the boy.

 

“Baymax,” His patient began, lowly.

 

Callaghan’s expression began to change from furious to slight concern – concern for himself, he didn’t like the sudden change in the tone of voice and facial expression from the Hamada. He took a step back.

 

“Destroy.” Hiro finally got his voice to growl.

 

“My programming prevents me from hurting another human being.” Baymax quietly told his creator’s brother.

 

“Not anymore.” Without looking, the young genius reached up, opened Baymax’s access port and removed Tadashi’s card, flinging the discarded healthcare chip away from him, not listening to the robot trying to reason with him. When the port closed, Baymax’s posture changed, and his eyes grew red.

 

The others jumped into action as Callaghan tried to outrun the suddenly murderous robot that was out for his head.

 

A chorus of nos and stops came from the team as Hiro watched on, trying to encourage the robot to ‘hurry’ and ‘get him’. If it weren’t for Honey managing to get the healthcare chip back into Baymax, Callaghan wouldn’t have been able to escape.

 

“What you just did, we never signed up for.” Wasabi’s exasperated voice was hoarse.

 

“We said we ‘catch the guy’. Not become murderers ourselves.” Gogo joined in with the scolding. She was shaking she was so scared and mad at the same time; Hiro was quickly following in Callaghan’s path of hurt and madness. She hated that.

 

Hiro ignored them both, trying to think of a way to find Callaghan again and finish everything himself. “I never should have let you guys help me.” He harshly said, turning to face the shaken teammates.

 

“My enhances scanner has been damaged.” Baymax told Hiro, who groaned out of anger and frustration. He climbed onto the robot’s back.

 

“Wings.” He simply commanded.

 

“This isn’t part of the plan.” Fred tried to get the boy’s attention, to snap the slowly spiraling teen out of it.

 

“Fly.” Fred was ignored as well.

 

(---)

 

Hiro angrily and harshly jerked Baymax’s helmet off the robot and slammed it down on the desk of his lab, knocking a bottle off in the process. He immediately startled messing with the internal working of the helmet.

 

“You appear to be distressed.” The robot voice broke through to his mind as Hiro went to put the helmet back on.

 

“Fine.” He curtly replied, shoving the helmet onto the robotics project. “Is it working?” His voice was sharp as he waited for the affirmative.

 

“Operational.” Baymax confirmed.

 

“Open your access port.” The fourteen year old kept trying to open the little cardholder. He was going to removing the healthcare chip and get rid of it for good.

 

Baymax refused to open it.

 

“Baymax! Open your access port.” The teen all but hit the button.

 

“Are you going to remove my healthcare chip?” The robot innocently asked.

 

“Yes.” Was all that was replied. Hiro tuned the voice out that was trying to talk to him as he started to peel away the armor from Baymax’s chest.

 

“Do you want me to terminate Professor Callaghan?”

 

“Yes.” Hiro stopped. “No. I don’t know.” He was getting frantic. “Open your access port!”

 

“Is this what Tadashi would have wanted?” Now the robot was trying to talk sense into Hiro’s depressed and betrayed mind. “Tadashi programmed me to-”

 

“TADASHI’S GONE!” Hiro slammed his fists into the robot’s vinyl chest before he broke down. “Tadashi’s gone.” He whimpered after a moment of silence.

 

“Tadashi is here.”

 

Hiro shook his head as he leaned against his brother’s project. “No.” He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Tadashi’s not here.” He said oh so quietly.

 

“Tadashi is here.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I? Or Should I not?  
> The outcome of this story depends on your answer.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHEHE I’ve got some things up my sleeve! And it’s fitting because its the ONE day I decide to wear a long sleeved shirt. I’ve got sleeves to hide things in. ;)
> 
> But I will have you know, Grammar is /not/ one of those things hidden in the magic sleeves.

**Chapter Eighteen**

It never occurred to him that Tadashi had to _record_ Baymax’s test runs; that Tadashi had to document any changes he made to the project.

 

But it made sense.

 

And it made sense of the night his older brother came home with a black eye and almost broken nose. No matter how many times both Hiro and Cass asked the eldest Hamada male about it, Tadashi would say ‘ _don’t worry about it’_ ‘ _nothing happened_ ’ ‘ _it was just an accident’_.

 

The videos stopped on Tadashi’s smiling face. Hiro lifted his hand and touched the screen’s space his brother’s picture filled. Tears spilled from the corners of brown eyes as he hoped that there were more videos of the test runs in Baymax’s memory; Hiro prayed that the robot just showed him a few clips to show Hiro that indeed Tadashi was there, he will always be there. It just wouldn’t be physically. The fourteen year old was already making plans to download the videos and burn them to DVDs and place them in different spots so he’d never ever lose them.

 

While the family had a million and seven photos of the three of them, they didn’t have very may videos. Cass could never figure out how to work the video camera and the only things the boys recorded as they grew up were inventions, inventions that more often than not, turned out to not work but wound up being hilarious and had they thought of it, would have sent those videos to funny video shows.

 

But none of those videos were recent, as in the last 5 years.

 

“Thank you Baymax.” Hiro sniffled as he took a step back from the robot. “I’m so sorry. I guess I’m not like my brother.” He mumbled the last part to himself as he looked away from the robot.

 

“Hiro.” His name was said in the softest voice Gogo could manage as her and the rest of the squad walked into the garage. She made a B-line for the smaller boy.

 

Hiro sighed. “Guys, I, uh, I’m-” He stuttered then got cut off when Gogo pulled him into the warmest hug.

 

“We’re going to catch Callaghan.” She stated gently. She pulled away slightly to look him in the eye. “And this time, we’ll do it right.”

 

“Yeah, but maybe don’t leave your team stranded on a spooky island next time? It’s just a thought.” Wasabi added in as he walked up beside the two.

 

Hiro immediately face palmed. How could he just leave his friends there like that? Callaghan wasn’t behind bars, they had to be careful and watch each other’s backs. And Hiro just left them there! “Oh man! Guys, I’m sorry!”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Fred smiled. “Heathcliff picked us up in the chopper.”

 

When Honey turned toward Hiro, she was all business. “We found something we think you should probably see.” She held up a flash drive looking thing. When they plugged it into one of the computers, they watched a few seconds of a video that occurred after the malfunction of Krei’s Silent Sparrow project. Callaghan was in it, and he was livid at the younger man. The former professor ranted about how Krei knew it wasn’t safe and he let _her_ go in anyway.

 

The group rewound the videos and debunked that the pilot was Callaghan’s daughter.

 

“This is a revenge story!” Fred cried out in a twisted sense of fascination.

 

Hiro was not finding any of this as ‘entertaining’ as Fred was. Instead the young genius froze.

 

He had started to fall down the same path Callaghan had.

 

Callaghan watched his daughter go into a portal for a test drive and her not come out. Hiro saw his brother run into his grave, and now he knew Callaghan was there and just let Tadashi die..

 

Callaghan _knew_ that Krei knew it wasn’t safe for Abigail to go in there, but had her do it anyway. When Hiro figured out the fire was set, he immediately started to investigate and after a long search, discovered it was _Callaghan’s_ doing.

 

Callaghan planned vengeance on the other technology innovator. Hiro planned to get _justice_ but somehow, he knew deep down, he wanted revenge for Tadashi.

 

The only difference? Hiro had a support group made of friends behind him, friends that stopped his attempt to have blood on his hands as well, which ultimately led to him realizing what he was doing.

 

Callaghan didn’t.

 

Hiro almost killed Callaghan for allowing Tadashi die. He had ordered Baymax to ‘destroy’ Callaghan. _Destroy_ like Callaghan was an opponent’s botfighting bot. Hiro had acted like he was just fighting Yama or something. How the teen would pull Megabot’s controlled to show more controls, and take down the challenger.

 

But that, _this_ , wasn’t a bot fight.

 

Hiro almost killed a living being.

 

And tried to use Baymax to do it.

 

Baymax; his brother’s invention, his brother’s school project, his brother’s healthcare companion creation; Hiro almost used a robot whose programming “ _prevents me from harming a human being_ ”. Hiro was going to use him to kill Callaghan.

 

“Hiro!” Voices shouting his name brought his mind back to reality.

 

He didn’t realize he was breathing frantically until his thoughts melted away.

 

“Slow.” Gogo tried to instruct. “Hiro, slow.” She tuned the rest of the team out as they tried to figure out what was happening and if Hiro needed anything.

 

“I could have-” He tried to talk, but ended up wheezing instead.

 

Gogo hummed in question. “Could have what?” Her hand hovered just above his shoulder. She didn’t know exactly how he reacts to touch during a panic attack.

 

He shook his head; he couldn’t finish talking at the moment, his chest felt too constricted and tight at that specific point in time. He reached for the desk chair that wasn’t even a foot from him, but ended up stumbling instead. Wasabi caught him and the teen jerked away.

 

“Sorry.” Hiro absently said as he leaned against the chair, not fully sitting in it.

 

“Hiro,” Gogo tried again, she leant over a little so she was eye leveled with him, even though she knew he probably wouldn't focus on her.

 

Hiro wasn’t listening, too far back into him mind, half of it was trying to calm himself down, the other half berating the fact that he _himself_ , almost became a murderer. He was no better than Callaghan.

 

“Shhh.” The shorter female of the group tried to sooth the teen. She wanted to put her hand on his shoulder, try to anchor him into the present and keep him from retracting back into his thoughts, but she didn’t want to touch him and make him feel worse.

 

“Gogo, what’s wrong?” Honey asked gently. “Does he need anything?”

 

“He’s having a panic attack.” The yellow suited girl said. “He needs to check his breathing or he’ll hyperventilate.”

 

“Should we call his aunt?” Wasabi questioned, utterly confused as to what to do.

 

Gogo shook her head. “Nah, this’ll pass in a bit. Hiro.” She kept trying to get the kid’s attention to stay on her for more than one of his frantic heartbeat’s time. “He just needs to learn to bring himself out of it instead of letting it run its course.” She mumbled as she decided to chance it and put a hand on the fourteen year old’s shoulder.

 

The action did its job of anchoring him, immediately, the young teen tried to pull away from the offending appendage. “Don’t touch.”

 

She nodded and pulled her hand away, but stayed eye level with him. “In through the nose, out through the mouth.”

 

Hiro shook his head, he wasn’t trying to be rude and not listen he just didn’t want people around him.

 

“You have to, Hiro.” She continued in a soothing voice.

 

He was trying, he really was, to control his breathing, but his body decided to see what could be faster – his heart or his lungs. And it seemed to be a tie. And the sweat rolling down his face was a close second thanks to every muscle in his body trembling.

 

He gripped the back of the chair so hard his knuckles turned white. ‘ _You’re fine, Hiro_.’ His mind attempted to calm himself down. ‘ _You didn’t go through with it. You’re friends stopped you_.’

 

Finally, he seemed to get control of his lungs again.

 

‘ _You’re okay_.’ The rational part of his brain stated. ‘ _You’re not like Callaghan. You’re okay_.’

 

Heartbeat started to slow to it’s normal pace; his fingers unclenched from the chair, but still held on, just wasn't in a vise grip.

 

‘ _You’re okay, you’re okay_.’ His internal words were soothing now. ‘ _You’re nothing like Callaghan. He’s been planning for a long while. Yours was just a heat of the moment action._ ’

 

Normal breathing now. Normal heart rate now.

 

‘ _You are like Tadashi_.’ His mind now scolded him for thinking he wasn’t like his brother. ‘ _You want Callaghan behind bars so he can’t hurt anyone again. You’re helping people_.’

 

“Hiro?” Gogo’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts again.

 

He opened up his eyes, not quite sure when he closed them, and looked up at Gogo, but didn’t saw anything. His eyebrows were scrunched together in a mix of embarrassment and fright.

 

“You okay?” She questioned.

 

He hesitated for a second, but then nodded, slowly.

 

She gave him a small smile. “What brought that one on?”

 

He frantically shook his head. If he told them, then the thoughts could come back.

 

“Okay, okay.” She sighed. She wants Hiro to start talking about what’s bothering him, she knows from first hand experience, that keeping everything bottled up isn’t going to end pretty.

 

“But, we’re all here is you do decided you need to talk.” Honey commented as she moved to be beside the teen.

 

“Anytime, little dude.” Fred placed his suit’s ‘head’ down by the garage door. “Just give us a call.”

 

Wasabi didn’t say anything, but gave the youngest Hamada’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.

 

“So how about we go kick Callaghan’s butt.” Hiro finally spoke, his voice strained as he tried to keep the leftover emotions from coming out in a shaky voice. “And I promise not to storm off this time.”

 

 

 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is the loooongeessst chapter in the story. I wanted to wrap up the movie events. Nothing much happens in this one that you don't already know. But we're getting closer to the end of this. 
> 
> Don't Own.

**Chapter Nineteen**

“This beautiful new campus is the combination of life-long dreams. But none of it would be possible without a few bumps in the road.” Alistair Krei spoke into a microphone at the new Krei Tech building’s unveiling. He stood on a small stage in front of the employees that would soon call the building their work place, press, and any one who was interested in the new structure. “Because they set us on a path to a bright future.” He held up his hand that held a champagne glass toward the audience, a proud smile on his face.

 

But that promptly dropped when everyone heard a sound akin to metal clinking together and rushing water. Everyone started pointing to the top of the new building.

 

“A SET BACK?!”

 

Krei jumped around and looked up in time to see little pieces of some kind of technology, that if he’d thought hard about it, Krei would think they looked awfully familiar.

 

The little robots flooded over the side of the building and spilled down the sides in jagged motions that flowed together.A figure clad in a black outfit complete with a trench coat and a Kabuki mask came into view.

 

The technology guru tried to run when he saw the bots coming towards him, but he didn’t make it very far, he was grabbed by the waist and pulled into the air, his feet leaving the ground. The figure stood in front of Krei, held up from the Microbots, he finally recognized where they were from.

 

The mask was lifted off the figure’s face. “Was my daughter a set back?” Callaghan growled as he circled the slightly younger man.

 

“Callaghan.” Was all Krei could mutter out, fear evident in his blue eyes. “Wha- You’re daughter, tha-that was an accident.” He stuttered.

 

The Microbots painfully squeezed Krei’s body.

 

“You _knew_ it was unsafe.” Callaghan stopped circling the tech giant. “My daughter is gone because of your arrogance.” He flicked his hand, and more Microbots started crawling up the outside of the campus, bringing pieces of a machine with them. “You took everything from me when you sent Abigail into that machine.” He paused for a second. “But now, _I’m_ going to take everything from _you_.”

 

The three pieces of the portal were finally pushed back together over the middles of the campus. It whirled to life as the middle lit up.

 

“No, no, you can’t!” Krei tried to turn and look at the closed down project. He couldn’t do anything but watch as the portal started ripping his new building apart. Pieces of roof and other parts of the exterior floating up in the pull the machine created.

 

Callaghan’s voice brought his focus back to the man. “You’re going to watch everything you built disappear.” He clenched his fist and pulled his arm closer to him, a hand gesture for the Microbots to follow and bring Krei closer to the former SFIT professor. “Then it’s _you’re_ turn.”

 

Krei’s heart pounded in his rib cage. He hadn’t meant it, for the portal to malfunction when Abigail was inside of it. It was in the realm of parameters, it would have been fine, it should have been fine. It wasn’t supposed to explode like that.

 

Krei, for all intents and purposes, could be an egotistical man; often he would do things that would either only benefit him, or benefit him the most. He had the money to spend on things he wanted, and he only wanted the best of everything. And what he couldn’t buy, he made, or paid someone to make it for him. But he would never internally harm someone. And he definitely wouldn’t send someone in for a test if he didn’t think it was ready.

 

He never meant for anything to happen to Abigail.

 

Why couldn’t Callaghan understand that?

 

“Professor Callaghan!” Someone called the older male’s name, but both men turned towards the voice.

 

Hiro Hamada and his friends landed on one of the roofs of the building. The fourteen year old jumped off of Baymax’s back. “Let him go.” He simply stated.

 

Callaghan turned his attention on the group of kids who’ve been trying to ruin hi plans for the last few weeks.

 

“Is this what Abigail would have wanted?” The boy asked, a hint of sadness and understanding in the young voice.

 

“Abigail is gone!” The man tried to growl out, but hurt was also heard in the tone.

 

Hiro took a step forward and pulled off his helmet. “This won’t change anything. Trust me, I know.” He gave a nod toward the man.

 

There was a look that crossed the professor’s face, a mix of realization and devastation.

 

But then Krei opened his mouth and that look disappeared from Callaghan.

 

“I want my daughter back.” The mask fell back onto his face, his head jerked to the side and Microbots attacked the group of newfound superheroes.

 

“Go for the mask!” Hiro called to his friends as he climbed back onto Baymax. The two flew towards the two men in the middle of the air, but Callaghan ducked and let the two fly by before sending Microbots to grab them. When they were let go, the two hit the top of the building, Hiro being dislodged from the magnets on Baymax’s suit and sent tumbling into a broken window. He wasn’t even able to get up before the pull from the portal grew in strength and was able to pick him up, pinning the boy to the ceiling before that gave way.

 

(---)

 

The Microbots slammed Baymax into the stage Krei was standing on not moments before.

 

“Baymax!” The young adults cried as they started running towards Callaghan and Krei.

 

“Leaping into action-” Fred started to narrate. He jumped into that air and aimed his costume’s fire at the older male, but was successfully blocked by Microbots.

 

Gogo dodged the onslaught of little robots and skated down the side of the building. Just as she was about to throw a disc towards the turned-evil man, the bots circled around her, trapping her in a sphere.

 

Fred bounced over the sphere, trying to distract the man and help Gogo get out of the trap. Fire was shot out at a string of the stolen technology, but it wasn’t doing much. They seemed to be _fire proof._

 

He didn’t have time to dwell on that thought, the pieces of technology slammed into him and wrapped around the suit’s arms and legs, effectively stopping him from going anywhere.

 

(---)

 

The ceiling broke, the portal pulling at the building, sending Hiro through the air. He bumped into a number of things as they were picked apart and tugged toward the old Krei Tech project.

 

He let out a surprised yelp as he managed to grab onto a steel cable that stuck out from a broken part of the roof of the building. He looked up and realized, if her were to accidently let go, of be forced off the cable, there was nothing else for him to grab before being pulled into the portal.

 

(---)

 

Wasabi was slashing through the attack of Microbots until they forced their way under two slabs of roof and pulled them up, trying to smash the college student between them.

 

“This is getting,” He tried to maneuver himself so he could push against the pieces of roof. “A little tight.”

 

(---)

 

Honey bounced off of one of her chemical bombs’ solution, a blue foam that almost hardened but stayed almost rubbery. She tossed a new bomb at every string of bots that Callaghan threw her way.

 

Until one broke throw one of the solutions.

 

In an action of rapid quick thinking, she pulled two chemical bombs out and flung them together over her, a protective bubble surrounded her.

 

But it wasn’t going to hold for too long, cracks and dents were already appearing on the surface.

 

(---)

 

The cable broke.

 

Hiro was flying through the air.

 

“Oh no!” He cried out as he tried to grab on to anything that would keep him anchored. It was just sheer luck and a miracle that there was another steel cable, still attached to something in the building, waving in the air. He grabbed onto it and held on as tight as he could.

 

He could see everything that was going on down on the ground – Wasabi struggeling between the roof pieces, two spheres on the ground, one made of Microbots and one made of something pink, and Fred being pulled in different directions.

 

“Hiro! Help!” They all called into their headsets.

 

He was just about to answer him when a few stray Microbots hit his face and bounced into the portal.

 

He gasped as realization hit him. They weren’t strong enough to break from the pull of the portal if they got close enough. They’re nothing if they aren’t linked together, and if they aren’t linked together, they can’t do anything; it’s be the perfect time for them to be sent into the portal.

 

“That’s it!” He spoke to himself. “Guys! Listen up!” He spoke to the team now. “Look for a new angle. Think of a different way around your problem.”

 

Hiro saw Wasabi act fastest; the young adult almost instantly shot his hand down and lasered his way through the roof.

 

Honey was next, grabbing two more chemical bombs and readied them, crouching as far back from the middle of her sphere as possible, she only had to wait a few seconds before that pesky strand of Microbots tried to break through again. This time they did though and she was ready for them; she smashed the chemicals together over the Microbots and held on as the strand pulled away from the ground, Honey didn’t let go until she was out.

 

“My arms!” Fred groaned in pain as he was stretched. “They can’t go any further!” Then he chuckled. “Wait a second!” He pulled his arms out of the arm slots. “It’s a suit!” He mentally face palmed. He looked around and noticed a sigh right in front of him. “Hello sign!” He reached out of the mouth of the suit and grabbed it. He spun it around a few times and chopped at the Microbots holding him.

 

Gogo sat on the floor of the Microbot circle for a second before spitting her gum out and putting it on the side of her helmet, she retracted the disc back to her hand and began to spin around. After a few rounds of spinning, the track she made broke, the top half of the Microbots falling off the bottom.

 

“Baymax!” Hiro called out. He couldn’t think his way out of this spot. Only Baymax could and get him. He went to call for his brother’s robot again, but was cut off when something managed to slice at his arm, the one not holding onto the cable. “Ow.” He hissed as he tried to pull that arm closer to his body as a way to protect it.

 

Baymax’s scanner focused in on Hiro as the robot was being covered by Microbots, “Hiro.” He simple stated in his robotic voice before Microbots covered his vision.

 

How Baymax got out of the shell of Microbots, Hiro will probably never know, he was just thankful when he saw the healthcare companion flying toward him. He let go of the cable when the robot was close enough to catch him.

 

(---)

 

“Ha!” Krei let out a laugh as he was seated on the Microbots behind Callaghan. “I love that robot!”

 

The former professor didn’t even turn to look at the tech giant as he waved his hand for the stolen showcase project to slam the younger of the two into the wall and wrap him up in one of his own signs.

 

Callaghan looked around when suddenly a blue smoke covered the air around him. He growled and raised himself up higher, over the coverage. He had to duck when he was almost beheaded by his former student’s little brother and school project. When the two circled back around, Callaghan sent groups of Microbots after the young Hamada.

 

To say he was confused when he watched the two fly as close to the portal as they possibly could, would be an understatement. But he knew they had to be planning something.

 

And they were.

 

Not even five minutes later, he had no Microbots left except those keeping him up and keeping the Hamada and robot in place.

 

And even those didn’t last long.

 

He flinched when the duo came speeding towards him. He waited on the pain that that punch should have brought, but it never came. He looked up to be met with the fist that he thought was going to slam into him, but it didn’t move.

 

“Our programing prevents us from harming another human being.” Hiro spoke up. “But,” he continued. “We’ll take that.”

 

On cue, Baymax grabbed the kabuki mask and with a pinch of his armored fingers, smashed the piece of plastic.

 

The left over Microbots started to crumble down, now that they weren’t being controlled. While the two caught Callaghan, the portal crashed to the ground, jarring the machine and strengthening the force that was pulling everything in.

 

“The portal is going to tear itself apart.” Krei had mentioned when Hiro said they had to shut it down. And they were all in agreement to get out of there.

 

“I detect signs of life.”

 

Until Baymax uttered those words.

 

_Someone has to help._

 

“Someone has to help.” Hiro said when he climbed onto Baymax’s back and the two flew into the portal.

 

Their adventure into the teleportation device wasn’t going how Hiro had quickly planned it to go.

 

“I can’t lose you too.” Hiro stuttered as the last line to his brother slowly started to fade.

 

When they had reached Abigail, she was still alive, Hiro was directing Baymax back to the portal enterance and when the teen turned to look at the robot, he failed to notice the piece of Krei Tech debris floating at a fast pace towards them. But Baymax did. He pushed himself in front of the pod, taking the hit of the object. It destroyed the armor the healthcare robotics project had.

 

“I can’t lose you too.” Hiro repeated, quieter this time, tears falling from his eyes.

 

“Hiro.” The robot started. “I will always be with you.”

 

A moment passed where the boy was just trying so hard to figure out a way to get all three of them out of the portal. He even tried to look at angles that haven’t even been discovered yet.

 

But it was no use. There was no way the three of them could get out of it.

 

He flung his arms around Baymax. “Last hug.” He muttered.

 

The robot returned the gesture, closing the lens of his cameras that were his eyes.

 

The youngest Hamada pulled away and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I am satisfied with my care.” He tried to give Baymax a smile, but it faltered.

 

Hiro watched as Baymax’s thruster pushed him and the pod Abigail was in toward the portal entrance. He watched the robot disappear from view, the farther apart they got, the more his heart shattered.

 

He let his brother down. Tadashi wanted Baymax to change the world; he had big dreams for the robot. And while Baymax sort of _save_ the world, it wasn’t the same. Hiro couldn’t even honor Tadashi’s last wish of sending Baymax out to hospitals everywhere to help.

 

He sniffled and held onto the fin of the pod when they went to land.

 

He ignored everyone calling his name as he slid down the side of the pod, until Wasabi spoke.

 

“Baymax?” He said the name as a question, but a hint of already knowing.

 

Young brown eyes looked away from the group and into the pod.

 

(---)

 

Hiro placed Baymax’s arm armor in his new lab at school, well, the lab was new to him, but it was Tadsahi’s. The school thought it was fitting for the lab to be renamed after Tadashi, one of the brightest students the school had ever had. And they also saw it fitting that Hiro got to have it, and be the first student to use the newly renamed room.

 

While him and his aunt had to clean the lab out a few weeks after Tadashi’s passing, Hiro brought back the cardigan the 21 year old had always left there. Hiro draped it back on the chair it had been on and smiled. Hiro felt that the jacket belonged in the room.

 

He walked over to the last piece of Baymax and gave the fist a fist bump, even saying what the robot said. “Bah lalala.” A sad smile crept over his face.

 

Then he noticed something, something help in the armored hand.

 

Hiro pried the fingers apart to discover the healthcare chip.

 

A joyous laugh came from him as happy tears filled his eyes.

 

Now all he had to do was find the notes his brother made, and he could rebuild Baymax.

 

(---)

 

Hiro finally stepped foot into Tadashi’s side of the room for the first time since that showcase, aside from the five seconds it took for him to grab Baymax’s charger weeks prior. He didn’t dare touch the bed or anything he didn’t need to touch. He wanted to preserve as much from his brother’s last presence in the room as possible.

 

He had never been more glad for the fact that his brother was a neat freak when it came to his room. All of his school binders were neatly organized and labeled so well it would put Wasabi’s organizational skills to shame. The notebooks were filed by school year, then alphabetical, so it wasn’t hard for the fourteen year old to find the binder labeled ‘BAYMAX’.

 

(---)

 

It didn’t take the young Hamada very long to rebuild his brother’s robotics project. Just a little over two weeks.

 

The moment of truth.

 

“Ow.”

 

The robot inflated. “Hello. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion. Hello Hiro.”

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Another update? Mere hours after an update? What?  
> One more chapter after this. 
> 
> Um, I want to kinda warn, this chapter has a brief mention of depressive thoughts I'd even go along the line of almost suicidal. Almost.

**Chapter 20**

Things started to calm down in the city after a while, they helped clear the debris from Krei Tech out so they could rebuild again, and Callaghan had an impending trial set up in a month’s time that no matter how many times his aunt told him she didn’t want him to go, he planned on going.

 

Hiro Hamada sat in his lab at the school late one night. He wasn’t working on anything; he was just using his alone time there to think, even though he knew where that would take him.

 

 

He bit back a sob as more berating reflections assaulted his mind.

 

‘ _If you hadn’t created those Microbots, Callaghan would_ never _had sought to use them to hurt or kill Krei_ ’ His mind viciously screamed at him as he all but collapsed into his lab chair, Tadashi’s cardigan sitting on the back. His thoughts didn’t even ease him into it this time, going straight for where it hurts. ‘ _If you hadn’t created those Microbots, Callaghan wouldn’t have started that fire, wouldn’t have used that fire to cover his tracks for stealing the Microbots. Tadashi wouldn’t have felt compelled to run in to save his professor when he heard Callaghan was still in there_.’

 

His breath got caught in his throat when the next thought entered his mind.

 

‘ _Tadashi would still be alive if it weren’t for you, if it weren’t for your stupid Microbots_.’

 

Shame on him for thinking he’d gotten those thoughts out of his head by now. He tried to keep his tears at bay as he reached behind him and pulled the jacket off the chair and wrapped it around himself. It didn’t smell like the cologne Tadashi used to use anymore, the scent had long since faded, but the outerwear made Hiro feel a little closer to his brother.

 

He pulled his knees up on the seat with him and wrapped his arms around himself. “I _did_ kill my brother.” He finally let the tears flow as he quietly cried into his arms.

 

(---)

 

Honey Lemon was just returning some of her notes she accidently took home to their rightful binders in her designated lab space, when she heard something coming from Hiro’s lab. She clicked off her light and made her way over to his lab door. It was cracked open and she peeked in.

 

It didn’t really surprise her that Hiro was there at that late hour, but what did shock her was the fact he seemed to be crying, all curled up into himself, wearing a familiar cardigan.

 

Her heart broke a little.

 

She gave a soft knock on the door as she quietly walked in. “Hiro?” She gently asked.

 

He almost gave himself whiplash he jumped up so fast. “Honey!” He gasped as he stumbled. “Wha-what are you doing here?”

 

A sad look was in her golden eyes as she looked at him, how he seemed to swim in Tadashi’s old jacket. “I was just bringing back some notes I accidently took home. What’s wrong?” She quickly changed the subject.

 

Hiro attempted to wipe his eyes, but he knew it was of no use, she’d already seen him crying. “Nothing.” He lied.

 

Honey walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. “You know you can talk to us, don’t you?”

 

He nodded against her shoulder but didn’t verbally answer you.

 

“You’re still grieving, you should let us help you.” She continued. “It hurts us to know that you’re keeping all of this to yourself.”

 

He sniffled as he pulled away, a sleeved hand coming up to wipe his eyes again. “I deserve it though.”

 

She tilted her head in confusion. “Deserve what?” She leaned against the desk and looked at her late best friend’s little brother.

 

“Keeping my thoughts to myself.” He told her.

 

“Why do you think that?”

 

He fell quiet for a moment before he took a breath. “It’s all my fault.” He finally broke down and cried, not the quietly crying he was doing a few minutes prior, but actually letting all the emotions out.

 

Somehow, he found himself on the ground and in another hug from Honey.

 

“This is all my fault!” He repeated. “If I hadn’t gone botfighting that night, he wouldn’t have felt the need to suddenly want to drive me to another one and randomly remember he forgot something here. He wouldn’t have somehow quickly plan for me to fall in love with this school and declare I needed to go here, I wouldn’t have made those stupid Microbots and Callaghan wouldn’t have set the fire to cover his tracks to steal them. And my stupid selfless brother wouldn’t have ran in to the stupid burning building!” He finally admitted his whole thought process on the subject; finally got the hurt out and in the open; finally shed light on why he had acted the way he did when they first found out it was Callaghan.

 

“Oh Hiro.” Honey hugged him tighter, trying to protectively curl around him and keep those thoughts from forming again. “It’s not your fault. It’s really not.” She murmured to the boy. “Please don’t think that it is.”

 

“But-” He started.

 

She abruptly pulled away from him, but kept her hands on his shoulders. “Hiro, this is not your fault. It's a coincidence that those events took place the way they did, but this isn’t your fault. No one knew Callaghan harbored those feelings like he did, no one could have predicted he would act like that.” She tried so hard to get Hiro to understand that.

 

“But I acted like him.” Hiro confessed quietly, looking away from her eyes. “I tried to hurt him like he was trying to hurt Krei.”

 

She sighed. “But you didn’t go through with it.”

 

“Only because of you guys.”

 

She nodded. “Because we’re here for you, Hiro. We don’t want to see you go down a path like that.”

 

(---)

 

“Hiro,” Gogo began as the two of them sat on the couch in Hiro’s makeshift lab. She waited until he turned to her.

 

“Hmm?” His eyes were dull; they have been since that fateful night months ago. They forever would hold those memories, the sights, the hurt he felt.

 

“I think you should go back.” She simply stated.

 

“Go back?” In time? Yeah, he’d do that in a heartbeat, he was working on it.

 

“To your therapist.” She clarified. When he didn’t respond she continued. “You obviously need it. We want you to go back.” Her breath hitched with emotion she didn’t show. A few memories of Tadashi talking to her about Hiro’s anxiety, how the elder worried about the other, flashed in her mind.

 

Hiro snorted in a sarcastic manner. “I don't need to go back.”

 

“Need to? Or want to?” She bodily turned so she could face him. “Hiro, you do need it. Your anxiety is getting worse. Just a few sessions, please?”

 

“I don’t need them!” He snapped. “Last time I was there, we had figured out what was causing my anxiety, but it doesn’t matter anymore!” He got up and stalked across the lab to sit at his desk and started putting bits and pieces of metal together to look busy.

 

Gogo sat silently for a few moments, letting him get a few breathing moments in before she started talking again. “What was it?”

 

Hiro froze, closing his eyes.

 

‘ _Its best to talk about things’_ Dr. Pat’s voice rang in his mind.

 

He sighed. “We had figured out that I would subconsciously freak out whenever Tadashi wasn't in the vicinity. Not in a ‘separation anxiety’ sort of way but a ‘scared-something’s-going-to-happen’ sort of way.” He muttered out, refusing to look her way. He didn’t want to see any kind of pity that may be visible on Gogo’s face. He’s had enough of that from other people.

 

“I think you’d still benefit from going back.” There was an unusual softness in her voice.

 

Hiro started to shrug, but stopped himself. Tadashi told him many a time that shrugging was not a real answer and should be ‘outlawed’. Hiro had been trying to break that habit, just for Tadashi. “Why?” He asked.

 

She got up and walked towards him. “Because you’re still going through things, you just lost a very close and important family member – you’re grieving, Baymax scanned you and diagnosed you with depression. While your original cause of anxiety might not be here now, you’ve got new ones. Ones that you definitely can’t go through alone.” She leaned against his desk at some point in her little speech. “Hiro, we’re all worried about you. We don’t like seeing you this way. And we really don’t like going on missions and worrying if you’re too distracted to properly watch out for yourself.”

 

Hiro had secretly hoped they hadn’t noticed his distraction on missions. A few times, normally during the night when he was in his room alone, he’d often think about if he doesn’t watch out, maybe something could happen to him and this would all go away.

 

Gogo watched his expression, as he stayed quiet. “You were doing that on purpose?” Horror laced her whispered voice.

 

He looked away from her and down at his desk. “This was all my fault to begin with. If I hadn’t had that one panic attack that he managed to catch me having, he’d still be here. If I hadn’t gone bot fighting, he’d still be here. If I kept on saying I didn’t want to go to SFIT, he’d still be here.” His voice level slowly rose as he spoke until he was _almostalmostalmost_ yelling.

 

Until he was attacked with a hug.

 

“Please go back.” She whispered shakily into his hair. “Hiro, please go back. You can’t keep living like this. This wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t predict the future. What would your aunt do if she lost both of her nephews, especially just a few months apart? If you won’t go back for us, please go back for her.” Tears threatened to escape her eyes.

 

“I don’t want to, though.” He managed out.

 

Gogo was silent. “Then do it for your brother.”

 

(---)

 

Hiro sat in a chair, slightly kicking his feet just above the ground as he waited. This time he was sitting by himself, his aunt not knowing he was trying to reinstate the sessions.

“Hiro?” Dr. Pat stood in the door to the waiting room. A slightly shocked look was on her face before it melted into a gentle smile.

“Hey.” He gave a sheepish smile as he stood. “Wanted to give this another try.” He followed her down to her office.

“I’m glad.” She held the door open for him, and then closed it when they were both in the room.

****  
  



	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in a 48 hour period? Wow.  
> The final chapter of /this/ story.  
> I'm actually pretty surprised that I kept an almost regular update schedule, and that I've actually FINISHED THIS! I've never finished a story aside from a few oneshots. Ever. Haha. And I really appreciate all the nice reviews and comments and stuff you guys have left on here. :)

**Epilogue**

_The door was locked, like it had been for a few days time. He was running out of granola bars and bottled water. He was promised he’d be let out of the room after a handful of hours, whatever needed to be done wasn’t supposed to take all that long._

__

_His heart sped up as thoughts of being trapped in here with no food or water and dying in a place no one knew he was in; it frightened him, deeply. Never seeing his family or that pile of fluff they called a cat, nor his friends – he was scared to death that he was going to die, and he never got to say goodbye._

__

_His breath quickened and he sat up on the mattress he had called a bed for the last…. Who knows how long. A hand tugged on his shirt collar, it suddenly felt too constricting and that it suddenly decided to choke him._

__

_His wheezing was the only sound in the room; it’s been the only sound in the room for a while now. Silence is all he’s heard since he was told he’d be let out after whatever that needed to be done was done; and now the room was both screaming loud and deafening silent._

__

_Plain cinder block walls and a cement floor is all he’s seen since he was brought in there, a fluorescent light flickering from the ceiling lighting the small space. There was nothing to do in the room now, at first he had to work on a few things, help put something together, but now that was done with and he had nothing to do. He’s gotten to the point where he counted all the cinder blocks in the room, 498._

__

_There was a sound on the other side of the door._

__

_He leaned against the wall, a sigh of relief left him, finally he was going to be let out of the room. He wasn’t trusted to have free reign of the building, he’d tried to run last time. Obviously, he didn’t get very far, but at least he had an idea of where he was._

__

_“Hello?” An unfamiliar female voice came from the other side of the door._

__

_“Yes?” He answered confused and voice cracking from disuse._

__

_“Stand back from the door.” The voice demanded._

__

_He didn’t move he wasn’t close to the door at all. “Okay.” He replied anyway._

__

_Some kind of drilling sound filled the room, he cringed at the noise, it was too loud, tooloudtooloud. Then the door fell in, causing an even louder sound when it landed on the ground. Bright lights and voices crowded into the room as people rushed over to him._

__

_“It’s okay, Tadashi. You’re okay.” The same voice, though he could now see a face to match it, told him as she walked over to him._

__

_A small smile graced his lips as he nodded, head leaning back against the wall._

__

_He laughed._

__

_“You’re okay.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've sorta planned a sequel, if you guys want it. I can end it here if no one does. 
> 
> I'll be honest, up until a few chapters ago, I had planned on Tadashi staying 'dead', but then I thought about how both could be affected if he were to come back. 
> 
> Hehehehe. 
> 
> But only, if you guys want a sequel to this.


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